An Alternative to Feminism

With every woman seemingly announcing that she's a feminist nowadays, I feel like there must be some alternative idea that you can support. Why else would women feel the need to announce that they believe in the equality of the sexes.
Are there really women out there who don't believe in that philosophy? I can (almost) understand a man not being a feminist. With his penis and his big, fancy job and his killing of small bugs, he might believe that men do deserve more than women. But a woman who feels the same way?
Is there a woman out there who walks around thinking, "I don't have a penis or kill bugs or forget anniversaries or shave my face or wear baseball caps, like, every day, so I'll go ahead and work the same job as a man for less money. That's totally fair."
Therefore, if women nowadays are "coming out of the closet" so to speak, what did they believe before? What's the alternative to feminism?
1. Maybe these women didn't believe in the equality of the sexes because they felt women should be pad more than men. They thought, "We have vaginas, lactating nipples, smooth legs; we carry humans around inside of us for nine months; we cook, clean, tend to the children, pay the bills, in some cases bring home the bacon, and still find time to look presentable for that one night when the man actually takes us out." (Hmm, they might be right on this one. Perhaps we should pay women more.)
2, Maybe these women don't want to be defined as women and, therefore, only see one sex. If there were only one sex, then equality wouldn't be needed. Like, how the shortest distance between two points will always be a straight line so you don't even need to discuss it. If only one sex existed, being a feminist wouldn't even be a thing (kinda like the word zizaroni in that AT&T commercial).
3. Maybe the alternative to feminism is feminism. Perhaps they've always been feminists, but a. didn't know it or b. were too scared to admit it. Like homosexuals in high school in the 90s, they hid in the closet, hoping no one would find out their dirty secret. But now that the tide has turned, now that being a feminist is cool, they want to shout it from the rooftop.
However, maybe there's no alternative to feminism. Maybe these women thought feminism was a dirty word. Before 2014, a.k.a. the Year of the Feminist, those women were thought of as bra burners with hairy armpits who hate men. Now we know differently. Feminists don't hate men; they just want what we already have (minus the penis).
Hopefully, someday in the future women and men will play on the same team. Today, at least we're all playing on the same field, and that's a good start.

Brains Before Butts

Kim Kardashian posed for a magazine. Actually, Kim Kardashian's ass posed for a magazine and Kim decided to come along. The Internet freaked out, as if no one had ever seen an ass before. Not only have people seen asses, they've seen Kim's. Many times.
Somehow Kim keeps making headlines, even though she's never actually done anything. She keeps ending up on magazine covers, even though she hasn't done anything. She can #BreakTheInternet without actually doing anything.
The media's obsession with Kim, their desire to put her (and her massive ass) on magazine covers is a slap in the face to women who have actually done something. Women all over the world are working to cure cancer, fight terrorism, bring clean water to countries that don't have it, and generally make the world a better place. Yet, they don't make magazine covers. They don't have big asses.
Sure, maybe some do. Maybe some of these hard-working, giving, generous women have a butt as big and glorious as Kim's. But they wouldn't show it. They know it's not their ass that's doing good deeds. Their ass won't make the world a better place to live. They use their minds for that.
Maybe Kim is really smart. Maybe in another life she could cure cancer, fight wars or give back to society. But in this life she's just a girl with a huge ass. She could strive for more, but all she apparently wants to do is #BreakTheInternet (and show her daughter that if you have a big ass you can have anything you want).
I'm sure the women who are out there - the ones fighting disease, poverty and terrorism - wouldn't want the exposure that Kim gets. But I doubt they want to see women getting exposure for simply having a large body part. What kind of message are we sending to young girls if we put women's asses on a pedestal and not their minds?
"Sweetie, put down the book. No one cares what you think. Just work on that ass."
You can't move forward as a society if you put the emphasis on the wrong things. We need to encourage women to think, learn, grow, work hard, and want everything. Men aren't on magazine covers bare-assed. Kim's husband isn't on a magazine cover bare-assed.
Some day Kim's ass will drop to below her knees and no one will want to look at it. Then what happens? Where does Kim go from there? Where does any woman go once the one thing they relied on leaves them? If we teach young girls to use their minds, then we're setting them up for a successful and fulfilling life where they know that the thing they rely on will never abandon them.
Dear Kim, women can be anything they want They can surely be more than an ass. So can you.

Queen of Vegas

Elvis is the King of Las Vegas. There's little dispute there. But who's the queen? Is it Celine Dion? Cher? Shania Twain?
Let me offer you Britney Spears. Why is she the Queen of Las Vegas? First, disregard what RadarOnline wants you to believe about low ticket sales and a half-filled arena. Check the numbers and you'll find that she's sold 97 percent of tickets. That's a lot of tickets.
Second, she's bringing people to Las Vegas. She's made Planet Hollywood $20 million since she started performing. Therefore, the casino offered her a pay raise and a contract extension.
Finally, if you ask anyone who's seen the show (famous and non-famous people), they all say how amazing it is.
I think it's safe to say that if you can fill the arena every night, make the casino millions and put on an amazing show that it qualifies you to wear the tiara.
Sure, a devil's advocate would argue that she's not selling out every show. But she's not just performing on the weekends. People are showing up mid-week to see her. Remember, this is La Vegas and people have to go see her. She's not coming to them. And when the shows aren't sold out, they're damn close.
Also, don't forget that Britney's fan base is either still in school or just starting out in the workplace and have limited funds. It shows just how popular she is that they'd choose to spend those funds on her. Other Las Vegas acts, like Celine, have older fan bases who have more expendable income.
Of course, the most important part is the show itself. Every fan who has written a report has said it's amazing. Celebs like Joe Jonas, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Jennifer Lopez, Selena Gomez and Nicole Richie have all paid their respect and attended the show. Not one has had a negative thing to say.
Therefore, add it all up and you can only say, with the pun very much intended, that people want a "piece of her."

To Boldly Go Where No Pop Star Has Gone Before

I'll admit I'm not a Star Trek fan. Since the title of this essay references the show/movies, you might think I am. I'm not. Sure, I could name some of the characters (Scottie, Dr. Spock, Capt. Picard), but I'm no Trekkie (or Trekker or whatever Star Trek fans call themselves).
I used the quote to illustrate what Britney Spears needs to do on her 9th album. She needs to boldly go where no pop star has gone before. In 2014, if you aren't breaking new ground, you might as well not even bother.
This means no Femme Fatale, no Blackout, no Circus, and no Britney Jean. That's right, no 2.0s. The next album has to be a 1.0, meaning it has to be new, fresh and innovative. Britney has to seek out producers who are daring and trying new things. She can't rely on the old stand-byes - Max Martin, Dr. Luke, Will.i.am, etc. Those guys are great and have produced some of her best work; however, pop stars can't live in the past.
Regardless of what you think about Taylor Swift (I think she's amazing) you have to give her credit for stepping outside her comfort zone. Sure, she was never really pure country, but now she's thrown the country out of the window. She's reinvented herself as a sexy pop star. She's showing a lot more skin, she's ditched the guitar and she's dancing (sort of). She's doing something new, fresh and innovative.
I don't expect Britney to become a country singer, but id she wants success on her 9th album she'll need that same kind of reinvention. Doing the same thing is akin to moving backward. That was Britney Jean's biggest problem. By giving us the same sounds she basically brought to the mainstream, Britney was actually taking a step backwards. Lyrically it was a step forward from Femme Fatale, but pop music doesn't concern itself with lyrics.
There's no doubt she can do it. Look at Blackout and Femme Fatale for proof. Both albums featured sounds that weren't on the radio. She took a gamble that the underground beats she featured would be popular. Thanks to four top 10 singles, she was dead-on. There's no reason she can't do it again.

Loneliness and Desperation

I see you in the stars
I see you in the clouds
I see you in my dreams
I see you in my doubts

You surround me
But I can never get that close to you
You surround me
Yet so far away it can't be true
So I've come to the conclusion that I will never be the one for you

I feel you shake the ground
I feel you pierce the air
I feel you all around
I feel you disappear

You surround me
And I try to get so close to you
You surround me
But who am I to think it could be true
So I've come to the conclusion that I will never be the one for you

There you go again

You're messing up my life

On you I can't depend

Cause I'm always right

...That I will never be that close to you

You surround me

But you're far away

You surround me

And I will never be

Oh, I will never be

And I will never get that close to you

No matter what I do

I will never get that close to you

Can Do Kim (More Like Can't Do Kim)

Is Kim Kardashian the most delusional person on the planet Earth or is she a role-model for women everywhere?
It seems like an obvious answer, but let's give her the benefit of the doubt. She recently tweeted about wanting to lose 15-20 lbs. Apparently, she gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy and has had difficulty losing it (although, she later clarified that it's not just baby weight, because apparently calling it baby weight is just an excuse). I'm sure 100 percent of moms can sympathize with that. What mother has an easy time dropping the baby lbs?
Here's Kim's problem: she's complaining about losing those extra pounds while at the same time taking selfies in her bikini and being photographed wearing the tightest and shortest outfits imaginable. Do you see the disconnect?
Most women who feel slightly overweight, or who feel they weigh a bit more than they'd like, don't flaunt their bodies on social media. Granted, some women are overweight and proud. However, talking about the need to lose 15-20 lbs doesn't seem like something a proud person would say. Therefore, it's safe to assume Kim isn't proud of her current body. Yet, she flaunts it all over town. Again, see the disconnect?
So, it seems like the obvious answer is obvious for a reason. Kim is just delusional and doesn't understand the words that come out of her mouth (or in this case, out of her fingers). Perhaps she's looking for some sympathy. She did tweet that she was "glad some of you can relate." That begs another question: who the hell can relate to Kim Kardashian?
She also said that "dieting is soooo hard for me." Extra O's for emphasis, because the woman with one of the most enviable bodies on Earth has trouble keeping herself in shape (and she wants you to know it).
Kim needs to realize that you can't love yourself enough to dress in uber-skinny jeans and super tight dresses while also complaining about the 15-20 lbs you need to lose. Beside, no one is going to feel sorry/empathy for someone with THAT body (boobs and ass) and all that money.