I love Britney Spears. You don't have to know me for very long to know that. I have hundreds of Britney songs on my iPod, I'm always watching Britney videos on youtube, and I'm constantly posting about Britney on Twitter, Facebook or any Britney fan site.
Why am I telling you this? Am I about to swerve you and tell you I'm handing in my Stan card? Has Britney's newest video sent me over the edge? Am I cancelling my "Glory" pre-order? Absolutely not!
I've been a Britney fan since 2000 and the release of "Oops I Did It Again" the album. I was 19 when that album came out. I was in college trying to study (and more honestly trying to get a girlfriend). When "Baby One More Time" came out, I fell in love with Britney but shied away from full-fledged Standom (not to mention the term hadn't been invented yet; Eminem's song wouldn't be released until May of 2000).
Being a straight male, I didn't want people to know I listened to Britney. A couple of her songs were acceptable, like "Baby" and "Crazy," but most weren't acceptable for a heterosexual male to like. So, I listened to her music in secret in my bedroom. When the albums came out, "Oops" and "Britney," I downloaded them illegally. I was embarrassed to go to the store (no iTunes then) and buy them.
By 2003, I finally said fuck it and bought "In the Zone" (her third best album in my opinion). I started caring less what people thought of a 20-something heterosexual guy loving Britney. I had posters of her on my wall, I had her t-shirt, and I used her pictures as wallpaper for my desktop computer. I was a fell-fledged Stan.
I'll say this honestly: it's hard to be a straight male Britney fan. I say this not out of any embarrassment, because there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I say this because my relationships with female Britney fans are just different than gay fans have. I'll never be as close to them as their gay friends. There's always going to be that, "is he just trying to get with me?" feeling.
I know there have been some meetups within the Britney community. It's basically women with some of their gay friends sprinkled in. I feel like I don't fit in. I understand that it is what it is, to put it in simple terms.
Therefore, I stand on the outside looking in. To feel a part of the Britney family, I post on a popular message board. However, I've gotten to the point where I can't take it any more. The negativity surrounding Britney's newest video, "Make Me," has finally pushed me over the edge. I'm keeping my Stan card, I earned that, but I can't take the bitching, complaining and moaning.
I love Britney. I love most of her fans. But for me it's time to take a step back. I'm not leaving the community. I'll tweet to them and continue to promote Britney. I love Britney Galaxy and their positivity. I love, in no particular order, Cristi, Rachel, Alycia, Lauren, Brittany, Monica, Emily, Tina, Lizzy, and a hundred others. They are the most amazing and kind-hearted women I've ever spoken to.
I'm excited to listen to "Glory" on Aug. 26. I love the "Make Me" video and will watch it on repeat until my eyes bleed. I just need to step away from the hate. I have no time in my life for that.
