I love Britney Spears. You don't have to know me for very long to know that. I have hundreds of Britney songs on my iPod, I'm always watching Britney videos on youtube, and I'm constantly posting about Britney on Twitter, Facebook or any Britney fan site.
Why am I telling you this? Am I about to swerve you and tell you I'm handing in my Stan card? Has Britney's newest video sent me over the edge? Am I cancelling my "Glory" pre-order? Absolutely not!
I've been a Britney fan since 2000 and the release of "Oops I Did It Again" the album. I was 19 when that album came out. I was in college trying to study (and more honestly trying to get a girlfriend). When "Baby One More Time" came out, I fell in love with Britney but shied away from full-fledged Standom (not to mention the term hadn't been invented yet; Eminem's song wouldn't be released until May of 2000).
Being a straight male, I didn't want people to know I listened to Britney. A couple of her songs were acceptable, like "Baby" and "Crazy," but most weren't acceptable for a heterosexual male to like. So, I listened to her music in secret in my bedroom. When the albums came out, "Oops" and "Britney," I downloaded them illegally. I was embarrassed to go to the store (no iTunes then) and buy them.
By 2003, I finally said fuck it and bought "In the Zone" (her third best album in my opinion). I started caring less what people thought of a 20-something heterosexual guy loving Britney. I had posters of her on my wall, I had her t-shirt, and I used her pictures as wallpaper for my desktop computer. I was a fell-fledged Stan.
I'll say this honestly: it's hard to be a straight male Britney fan. I say this not out of any embarrassment, because there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I say this because my relationships with female Britney fans are just different than gay fans have. I'll never be as close to them as their gay friends. There's always going to be that, "is he just trying to get with me?" feeling.
I know there have been some meetups within the Britney community. It's basically women with some of their gay friends sprinkled in. I feel like I don't fit in. I understand that it is what it is, to put it in simple terms.
Therefore, I stand on the outside looking in. To feel a part of the Britney family, I post on a popular message board. However, I've gotten to the point where I can't take it any more. The negativity surrounding Britney's newest video, "Make Me," has finally pushed me over the edge. I'm keeping my Stan card, I earned that, but I can't take the bitching, complaining and moaning.
I love Britney. I love most of her fans. But for me it's time to take a step back. I'm not leaving the community. I'll tweet to them and continue to promote Britney. I love Britney Galaxy and their positivity. I love, in no particular order, Cristi, Rachel, Alycia, Lauren, Brittany, Monica, Emily, Tina, Lizzy, and a hundred others. They are the most amazing and kind-hearted women I've ever spoken to.
I'm excited to listen to "Glory" on Aug. 26. I love the "Make Me" video and will watch it on repeat until my eyes bleed. I just need to step away from the hate. I have no time in my life for that.
Friday, August 5, 2016
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
You Made Your Bed, Now Kill Yourself
The Internet is a fucked up place. Well, it can be.
You make one mistake and people will destroy you. Nameless, faceless people, but people nonetheless.
You cheat on your boyfriend and get caught? Prepare to be called every name in the book. And if that name-calling causes you to try something you can't take back, like suicide, don't expect apologies from the name-callers. You brought this on yourself, remember, by cheating.
This unfortunate situation arose where Kyrie Irving's girlfriend cheated on him. Or it was his ex-girlfriend and she, therefore, didn't cheat. But it was definitely the first scenario, according to Internet detectives who did no actual detective work and just chose to assume the juicier scenario.
Anyway, this woman, Kehlani, supposedly cheated on Irving with an ex. When he posted a picture of what appeared to be the two of them in bed, the Internet went crazy. Never mind the fact that 90 percent of these people had no idea who she was. All they knew was that she (allegedly) cheated on a famous athlete. Kill her.
Sadly, these Internet warriors for truth and justice, i.e. trolls, were so callous in their comments that Kehlani attempted suicide. It's not the fact that they just assumed she had cheated, it's the fact that they felt it was their place to talk about it (even though, again, 90 percent had no clue who she was). She (allegedly) made one mistake.
Has no one ever made a mistake? When you cheat on your diet by having a cookie, do you get ripped apart with terrible names, names so disgusting that you want to kill yourself? When you cheat on a test, do you get shamed so badly that you want to kill yourself?
Everyone has made a mistake. Most of us make many every day.
These Internet warriors for truth and justice said that attacking her was OK because she cheated. They felt no sympathy, even though she attempted suicide, because she cheated. You make one mistake and you deserve to die, sayeth these bastions of the American way. It's sickening to think that one mistake, especially something as commonplace as infidelity can't be forgiven. (Not that any of us have to forgive her, since she didn't (allegedly) cheat on us.)
Maybe the saddest thing, amazingly, has nothing to do with feeling no empathy or sympathy for someone who attempted suicide. Maybe it's the idea that if the famous (male) athlete had cheated, he would have received high-fives and daps and slaps on the back from these same Internet warriors.
It would have been a lot of "your the man" and "get it" and "thats what she gets for tryna get wifed up" (these warriors tend to have terrible grammar and no grasp of the English language). But if a woman dare cheat on her famous boyfriend, then she's a "thot," a "ho," a "skank." What, men can't be hoes?
It would be a nice change of pace if, instead of tearing someone down for a mistake, we built them up. Instead of reminding them of the one bad thing they did, we reminded them that everyone does something stupid. We could tell them they're not alone. We could advise them to move on and keep trying to be the best person they can be.
Everyone deserves a shot at redemption . . . even on the Internet.
You make one mistake and people will destroy you. Nameless, faceless people, but people nonetheless.
You cheat on your boyfriend and get caught? Prepare to be called every name in the book. And if that name-calling causes you to try something you can't take back, like suicide, don't expect apologies from the name-callers. You brought this on yourself, remember, by cheating.
This unfortunate situation arose where Kyrie Irving's girlfriend cheated on him. Or it was his ex-girlfriend and she, therefore, didn't cheat. But it was definitely the first scenario, according to Internet detectives who did no actual detective work and just chose to assume the juicier scenario.
Anyway, this woman, Kehlani, supposedly cheated on Irving with an ex. When he posted a picture of what appeared to be the two of them in bed, the Internet went crazy. Never mind the fact that 90 percent of these people had no idea who she was. All they knew was that she (allegedly) cheated on a famous athlete. Kill her.
Sadly, these Internet warriors for truth and justice, i.e. trolls, were so callous in their comments that Kehlani attempted suicide. It's not the fact that they just assumed she had cheated, it's the fact that they felt it was their place to talk about it (even though, again, 90 percent had no clue who she was). She (allegedly) made one mistake.
Has no one ever made a mistake? When you cheat on your diet by having a cookie, do you get ripped apart with terrible names, names so disgusting that you want to kill yourself? When you cheat on a test, do you get shamed so badly that you want to kill yourself?
Everyone has made a mistake. Most of us make many every day.
These Internet warriors for truth and justice said that attacking her was OK because she cheated. They felt no sympathy, even though she attempted suicide, because she cheated. You make one mistake and you deserve to die, sayeth these bastions of the American way. It's sickening to think that one mistake, especially something as commonplace as infidelity can't be forgiven. (Not that any of us have to forgive her, since she didn't (allegedly) cheat on us.)
Maybe the saddest thing, amazingly, has nothing to do with feeling no empathy or sympathy for someone who attempted suicide. Maybe it's the idea that if the famous (male) athlete had cheated, he would have received high-fives and daps and slaps on the back from these same Internet warriors.
It would have been a lot of "your the man" and "get it" and "thats what she gets for tryna get wifed up" (these warriors tend to have terrible grammar and no grasp of the English language). But if a woman dare cheat on her famous boyfriend, then she's a "thot," a "ho," a "skank." What, men can't be hoes?
It would be a nice change of pace if, instead of tearing someone down for a mistake, we built them up. Instead of reminding them of the one bad thing they did, we reminded them that everyone does something stupid. We could tell them they're not alone. We could advise them to move on and keep trying to be the best person they can be.
Everyone deserves a shot at redemption . . . even on the Internet.
Monday, December 15, 2014
An Alternative to Feminism
With every woman seemingly announcing that she's a feminist nowadays, I feel like there must be some alternative idea that you can support. Why else would women feel the need to announce that they believe in the equality of the sexes.
Are there really women out there who don't believe in that philosophy? I can (almost) understand a man not being a feminist. With his penis and his big, fancy job and his killing of small bugs, he might believe that men do deserve more than women. But a woman who feels the same way?
Is there a woman out there who walks around thinking, "I don't have a penis or kill bugs or forget anniversaries or shave my face or wear baseball caps, like, every day, so I'll go ahead and work the same job as a man for less money. That's totally fair."
Therefore, if women nowadays are "coming out of the closet" so to speak, what did they believe before? What's the alternative to feminism?
1. Maybe these women didn't believe in the equality of the sexes because they felt women should be pad more than men. They thought, "We have vaginas, lactating nipples, smooth legs; we carry humans around inside of us for nine months; we cook, clean, tend to the children, pay the bills, in some cases bring home the bacon, and still find time to look presentable for that one night when the man actually takes us out." (Hmm, they might be right on this one. Perhaps we should pay women more.)
2, Maybe these women don't want to be defined as women and, therefore, only see one sex. If there were only one sex, then equality wouldn't be needed. Like, how the shortest distance between two points will always be a straight line so you don't even need to discuss it. If only one sex existed, being a feminist wouldn't even be a thing (kinda like the word zizaroni in that AT&T commercial).
3. Maybe the alternative to feminism is feminism. Perhaps they've always been feminists, but a. didn't know it or b. were too scared to admit it. Like homosexuals in high school in the 90s, they hid in the closet, hoping no one would find out their dirty secret. But now that the tide has turned, now that being a feminist is cool, they want to shout it from the rooftop.
However, maybe there's no alternative to feminism. Maybe these women thought feminism was a dirty word. Before 2014, a.k.a. the Year of the Feminist, those women were thought of as bra burners with hairy armpits who hate men. Now we know differently. Feminists don't hate men; they just want what we already have (minus the penis).
Hopefully, someday in the future women and men will play on the same team. Today, at least we're all playing on the same field, and that's a good start.
Are there really women out there who don't believe in that philosophy? I can (almost) understand a man not being a feminist. With his penis and his big, fancy job and his killing of small bugs, he might believe that men do deserve more than women. But a woman who feels the same way?
Is there a woman out there who walks around thinking, "I don't have a penis or kill bugs or forget anniversaries or shave my face or wear baseball caps, like, every day, so I'll go ahead and work the same job as a man for less money. That's totally fair."
Therefore, if women nowadays are "coming out of the closet" so to speak, what did they believe before? What's the alternative to feminism?
1. Maybe these women didn't believe in the equality of the sexes because they felt women should be pad more than men. They thought, "We have vaginas, lactating nipples, smooth legs; we carry humans around inside of us for nine months; we cook, clean, tend to the children, pay the bills, in some cases bring home the bacon, and still find time to look presentable for that one night when the man actually takes us out." (Hmm, they might be right on this one. Perhaps we should pay women more.)
2, Maybe these women don't want to be defined as women and, therefore, only see one sex. If there were only one sex, then equality wouldn't be needed. Like, how the shortest distance between two points will always be a straight line so you don't even need to discuss it. If only one sex existed, being a feminist wouldn't even be a thing (kinda like the word zizaroni in that AT&T commercial).
3. Maybe the alternative to feminism is feminism. Perhaps they've always been feminists, but a. didn't know it or b. were too scared to admit it. Like homosexuals in high school in the 90s, they hid in the closet, hoping no one would find out their dirty secret. But now that the tide has turned, now that being a feminist is cool, they want to shout it from the rooftop.
However, maybe there's no alternative to feminism. Maybe these women thought feminism was a dirty word. Before 2014, a.k.a. the Year of the Feminist, those women were thought of as bra burners with hairy armpits who hate men. Now we know differently. Feminists don't hate men; they just want what we already have (minus the penis).
Hopefully, someday in the future women and men will play on the same team. Today, at least we're all playing on the same field, and that's a good start.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Brains Before Butts
Kim Kardashian posed for a magazine. Actually, Kim Kardashian's ass posed for a magazine and Kim decided to come along. The Internet freaked out, as if no one had ever seen an ass before. Not only have people seen asses, they've seen Kim's. Many times.
Somehow Kim keeps making headlines, even though she's never actually done anything. She keeps ending up on magazine covers, even though she hasn't done anything. She can #BreakTheInternet without actually doing anything.
The media's obsession with Kim, their desire to put her (and her massive ass) on magazine covers is a slap in the face to women who have actually done something. Women all over the world are working to cure cancer, fight terrorism, bring clean water to countries that don't have it, and generally make the world a better place. Yet, they don't make magazine covers. They don't have big asses.
Sure, maybe some do. Maybe some of these hard-working, giving, generous women have a butt as big and glorious as Kim's. But they wouldn't show it. They know it's not their ass that's doing good deeds. Their ass won't make the world a better place to live. They use their minds for that.
Maybe Kim is really smart. Maybe in another life she could cure cancer, fight wars or give back to society. But in this life she's just a girl with a huge ass. She could strive for more, but all she apparently wants to do is #BreakTheInternet (and show her daughter that if you have a big ass you can have anything you want).
I'm sure the women who are out there - the ones fighting disease, poverty and terrorism - wouldn't want the exposure that Kim gets. But I doubt they want to see women getting exposure for simply having a large body part. What kind of message are we sending to young girls if we put women's asses on a pedestal and not their minds?
"Sweetie, put down the book. No one cares what you think. Just work on that ass."
You can't move forward as a society if you put the emphasis on the wrong things. We need to encourage women to think, learn, grow, work hard, and want everything. Men aren't on magazine covers bare-assed. Kim's husband isn't on a magazine cover bare-assed.
Some day Kim's ass will drop to below her knees and no one will want to look at it. Then what happens? Where does Kim go from there? Where does any woman go once the one thing they relied on leaves them? If we teach young girls to use their minds, then we're setting them up for a successful and fulfilling life where they know that the thing they rely on will never abandon them.
Dear Kim, women can be anything they want They can surely be more than an ass. So can you.
Somehow Kim keeps making headlines, even though she's never actually done anything. She keeps ending up on magazine covers, even though she hasn't done anything. She can #BreakTheInternet without actually doing anything.
The media's obsession with Kim, their desire to put her (and her massive ass) on magazine covers is a slap in the face to women who have actually done something. Women all over the world are working to cure cancer, fight terrorism, bring clean water to countries that don't have it, and generally make the world a better place. Yet, they don't make magazine covers. They don't have big asses.
Sure, maybe some do. Maybe some of these hard-working, giving, generous women have a butt as big and glorious as Kim's. But they wouldn't show it. They know it's not their ass that's doing good deeds. Their ass won't make the world a better place to live. They use their minds for that.
Maybe Kim is really smart. Maybe in another life she could cure cancer, fight wars or give back to society. But in this life she's just a girl with a huge ass. She could strive for more, but all she apparently wants to do is #BreakTheInternet (and show her daughter that if you have a big ass you can have anything you want).
I'm sure the women who are out there - the ones fighting disease, poverty and terrorism - wouldn't want the exposure that Kim gets. But I doubt they want to see women getting exposure for simply having a large body part. What kind of message are we sending to young girls if we put women's asses on a pedestal and not their minds?
"Sweetie, put down the book. No one cares what you think. Just work on that ass."
You can't move forward as a society if you put the emphasis on the wrong things. We need to encourage women to think, learn, grow, work hard, and want everything. Men aren't on magazine covers bare-assed. Kim's husband isn't on a magazine cover bare-assed.
Some day Kim's ass will drop to below her knees and no one will want to look at it. Then what happens? Where does Kim go from there? Where does any woman go once the one thing they relied on leaves them? If we teach young girls to use their minds, then we're setting them up for a successful and fulfilling life where they know that the thing they rely on will never abandon them.
Dear Kim, women can be anything they want They can surely be more than an ass. So can you.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Queen of Vegas
Elvis is the King of Las Vegas. There's little dispute there. But who's the queen? Is it Celine Dion? Cher? Shania Twain?
Let me offer you Britney Spears. Why is she the Queen of Las Vegas? First, disregard what RadarOnline wants you to believe about low ticket sales and a half-filled arena. Check the numbers and you'll find that she's sold 97 percent of tickets. That's a lot of tickets.
Second, she's bringing people to Las Vegas. She's made Planet Hollywood $20 million since she started performing. Therefore, the casino offered her a pay raise and a contract extension.
Finally, if you ask anyone who's seen the show (famous and non-famous people), they all say how amazing it is.
I think it's safe to say that if you can fill the arena every night, make the casino millions and put on an amazing show that it qualifies you to wear the tiara.
Sure, a devil's advocate would argue that she's not selling out every show. But she's not just performing on the weekends. People are showing up mid-week to see her. Remember, this is La Vegas and people have to go see her. She's not coming to them. And when the shows aren't sold out, they're damn close.
Also, don't forget that Britney's fan base is either still in school or just starting out in the workplace and have limited funds. It shows just how popular she is that they'd choose to spend those funds on her. Other Las Vegas acts, like Celine, have older fan bases who have more expendable income.
Of course, the most important part is the show itself. Every fan who has written a report has said it's amazing. Celebs like Joe Jonas, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Jennifer Lopez, Selena Gomez and Nicole Richie have all paid their respect and attended the show. Not one has had a negative thing to say.
Therefore, add it all up and you can only say, with the pun very much intended, that people want a "piece of her."
Let me offer you Britney Spears. Why is she the Queen of Las Vegas? First, disregard what RadarOnline wants you to believe about low ticket sales and a half-filled arena. Check the numbers and you'll find that she's sold 97 percent of tickets. That's a lot of tickets.
Second, she's bringing people to Las Vegas. She's made Planet Hollywood $20 million since she started performing. Therefore, the casino offered her a pay raise and a contract extension.
Finally, if you ask anyone who's seen the show (famous and non-famous people), they all say how amazing it is.
I think it's safe to say that if you can fill the arena every night, make the casino millions and put on an amazing show that it qualifies you to wear the tiara.
Sure, a devil's advocate would argue that she's not selling out every show. But she's not just performing on the weekends. People are showing up mid-week to see her. Remember, this is La Vegas and people have to go see her. She's not coming to them. And when the shows aren't sold out, they're damn close.
Also, don't forget that Britney's fan base is either still in school or just starting out in the workplace and have limited funds. It shows just how popular she is that they'd choose to spend those funds on her. Other Las Vegas acts, like Celine, have older fan bases who have more expendable income.
Of course, the most important part is the show itself. Every fan who has written a report has said it's amazing. Celebs like Joe Jonas, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Jennifer Lopez, Selena Gomez and Nicole Richie have all paid their respect and attended the show. Not one has had a negative thing to say.
Therefore, add it all up and you can only say, with the pun very much intended, that people want a "piece of her."
Friday, October 24, 2014
To Boldly Go Where No Pop Star Has Gone Before
I'll admit I'm not a Star Trek fan. Since the title of this essay references the show/movies, you might think I am. I'm not. Sure, I could name some of the characters (Scottie, Dr. Spock, Capt. Picard), but I'm no Trekkie (or Trekker or whatever Star Trek fans call themselves).
I used the quote to illustrate what Britney Spears needs to do on her 9th album. She needs to boldly go where no pop star has gone before. In 2014, if you aren't breaking new ground, you might as well not even bother.
This means no Femme Fatale, no Blackout, no Circus, and no Britney Jean. That's right, no 2.0s. The next album has to be a 1.0, meaning it has to be new, fresh and innovative. Britney has to seek out producers who are daring and trying new things. She can't rely on the old stand-byes - Max Martin, Dr. Luke, Will.i.am, etc. Those guys are great and have produced some of her best work; however, pop stars can't live in the past.
Regardless of what you think about Taylor Swift (I think she's amazing) you have to give her credit for stepping outside her comfort zone. Sure, she was never really pure country, but now she's thrown the country out of the window. She's reinvented herself as a sexy pop star. She's showing a lot more skin, she's ditched the guitar and she's dancing (sort of). She's doing something new, fresh and innovative.
I don't expect Britney to become a country singer, but id she wants success on her 9th album she'll need that same kind of reinvention. Doing the same thing is akin to moving backward. That was Britney Jean's biggest problem. By giving us the same sounds she basically brought to the mainstream, Britney was actually taking a step backwards. Lyrically it was a step forward from Femme Fatale, but pop music doesn't concern itself with lyrics.
There's no doubt she can do it. Look at Blackout and Femme Fatale for proof. Both albums featured sounds that weren't on the radio. She took a gamble that the underground beats she featured would be popular. Thanks to four top 10 singles, she was dead-on. There's no reason she can't do it again.
I used the quote to illustrate what Britney Spears needs to do on her 9th album. She needs to boldly go where no pop star has gone before. In 2014, if you aren't breaking new ground, you might as well not even bother.
This means no Femme Fatale, no Blackout, no Circus, and no Britney Jean. That's right, no 2.0s. The next album has to be a 1.0, meaning it has to be new, fresh and innovative. Britney has to seek out producers who are daring and trying new things. She can't rely on the old stand-byes - Max Martin, Dr. Luke, Will.i.am, etc. Those guys are great and have produced some of her best work; however, pop stars can't live in the past.
Regardless of what you think about Taylor Swift (I think she's amazing) you have to give her credit for stepping outside her comfort zone. Sure, she was never really pure country, but now she's thrown the country out of the window. She's reinvented herself as a sexy pop star. She's showing a lot more skin, she's ditched the guitar and she's dancing (sort of). She's doing something new, fresh and innovative.
I don't expect Britney to become a country singer, but id she wants success on her 9th album she'll need that same kind of reinvention. Doing the same thing is akin to moving backward. That was Britney Jean's biggest problem. By giving us the same sounds she basically brought to the mainstream, Britney was actually taking a step backwards. Lyrically it was a step forward from Femme Fatale, but pop music doesn't concern itself with lyrics.
There's no doubt she can do it. Look at Blackout and Femme Fatale for proof. Both albums featured sounds that weren't on the radio. She took a gamble that the underground beats she featured would be popular. Thanks to four top 10 singles, she was dead-on. There's no reason she can't do it again.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Loneliness and Desperation
I see you in the stars
I see you in the clouds
I see you in my dreams
I see you in my doubts
You surround me
But I can never get that close to you
You surround me
Yet so far away it can't be true
So I've come to the conclusion that I will never be the one for you
I feel you shake the ground
I feel you pierce the air
I feel you all around
I feel you disappear
You surround me
And I try to get so close to you
You surround me
But who am I to think it could be true
So I've come to the conclusion that I will never be the one for you
I see you in the clouds
I see you in my dreams
I see you in my doubts
You surround me
But I can never get that close to you
You surround me
Yet so far away it can't be true
So I've come to the conclusion that I will never be the one for you
I feel you shake the ground
I feel you pierce the air
I feel you all around
I feel you disappear
You surround me
And I try to get so close to you
You surround me
But who am I to think it could be true
So I've come to the conclusion that I will never be the one for you
There you go again
You're messing up my life
On you I can't depend
Cause I'm always right
...That I will never be that close to you
You surround me
But you're far away
You surround me
And I will never be
Oh, I will never be
And I will never get that close to you
No matter what I do
I will never get that close to you
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)