Strap One On

Ever wonder why women wear shoes with 36 straps and 100 laces?  It's so that while you're all hot and bothered, she can take a moment to decide whether she actually wants to sleep with you.  While you're undoing strap 35, she says, "You know, I think I'll pass on the sex.  But while you're down there, can you restrap my shoes?  Thanks, you're a doll."
Women's clothing is designed to be highly nonfunctional.  Only they would create something with a zipper in the back they can't possibly reach or pants with 30 buttons that they have to start undoing before they even need to pee.  Why do you think women go to the bathroom in pairs?  This way one can start on the top buttons and the other can start on the bottom ones.
Women create fashion that's designed to leave them injured.  How many times does a man come home and take his shoes off because they're killing his feet?  That's an everyday occurrence for most women.  Or she'll take her bra off and it leaves behind lines all over the breasts because it's so tight.
But that's how they get their sympathy.  If females spent all day in flat shoes they'd never get foot rubs (and women love to be rubbed).
One question I always had was which came first, the purse or the too tight, too small pants pockets?  Did someone design these pockets so nothing but a quarter could fit inside, which prompted someone else to come up with another way for ladies to carry essential items OR did the purse already exist making the pockets practically unnecessary?
Some fashion just doesn't make sense, i.e. the 3/4 sleeve, pants that come down just below the knee, but aren't really shorts, beach footwear that has a 6 inch wedge heel, zippers that don't serve any purpose other than just existing, toe socks, and the fashion that makes the least sense to me, wearing the floor-length gown which covers the shoes you spent all day picking out (and probably $800 on).