Pardon the cliche, but "Oops! . . . She Did It Again."
The "it" refers to making another talked about video. "I Wanna Go" is the perfect summertime video for a nation of people who can't be bothered to think about deep things when we have so much tanning to do.
Clearly, the director, Chris Mars Piliero (who directed the awesome "Blow" video by Ke$ha) knows his Britstory. Anyone who throws up a reference to Crossroads knows his stuff.
The video starts off auspiciously enough with The Queen (not Rolling Stone's queen, mind you) clicking her way toward a podium in her sexiest Louboutins (every girl's go to shoe, apparently). At this point, Britney is inundated with off the wall questions, such as whether or not she's having Brad Pitt's baby (she's not, by the way, it's quintuplets (another nod, by the way, to Britstory, as she's revealed in the past as having a crush on Brad Pitt)), whether she's banned everything from her Femme Fatale tour (she did) and whether or not she hates puppies (a question she dodges, which makes me wonder, "Do you hate puppies, Britney?" Fess up).
Finally, The Queen Bee has had enough, drops a few f-bombs on the media (wouldn't she like to do THAT in real life) and declares she's out. I would be remiss if I didn't point out Britney's half-shirt with a picture of half a head and giant mouse ears, not at all unlike Mickey Mouse's ears (you know, from when she was a mouseketeer). Of course, there's a two percent chance that's also a reference to Deadmau5 a DJ/remixer who got flack from Britney fans a while back and who's symbol is the head with giant Mickey Mouse ears. Probably not, but with so many other references you never know.
Once Britney walks out on the press conference, she's magically made a costume change: gone is the half-shirt and Louboutins to be replaced with a skirt and boots she totally jacked from Avril Lavigne. Seriously, Avril should sue for gimmick infringement.
The minute she hits the street she's besieged by an eager fan looking for an autograph. Never one to disappoint her fans, Britney whips out a pen from between her breasts (magical boobs indeed), signs the eager young man's Femme Fatale CD, then proceeds to grab his ass. Why? She's Britney, bitch! Actually, in this video she's just being inappropriate because she knows "everybody's thinking it when the lights out." Damn straight, Britney.
Another inappropriate moment occurs when she gets the bright idea to flash a cop (and a red-headed kid and his father). Oops, she did it again (last cliche, I swear). The cop seems less than amused, forcing Britney to "spread 'em" so he can pat her down (perv!). Exactly what was he expecting to find (on second thought, she DID pull a marker out of her cleavage)?
Thankfully, our Queen is resourceful and manages to wrap her arms and legs around the officer, thereby weakening his defenses. She even manages to steal his handcuffs after the seduction (as Britney walks away we see the cop buttoning up his uniform; if only Lindsay Lohan were that resourceful she might never have spent time in jail)
Unfortunately, the happy times don't last, as Brit is met by a paparazzi looking for a few good shots. Britney, again being the people pleaser that she is, stops and POSES like she's on a runway. Take note, Heidi Klum. Of course, Britney's not all sugar and spice and everything nice, because she rips the camera out of the guy's hands and smashes it on the sidewalk (again, I have to point out the potential Britstory, as back in 2008 Britney would constantly be seen conversing with the paparazzi all friendly, then yelling at them all angry. If that was a nod to the past bi-polar Britney, well done, sir).
As unluck would have it, Britney finds herself surrounded by camera-wielding paparazzi. What's a girl to do? Jump on the roof of a cab, unleash your microphone, and start swinging, of course. Irony here is that Brit a) hardly ever uses a microphone, preferring the hands-free headset and b) no one uses a microphone with a cord any more.
The pop star proves a warrior, as she takes out each slimeball photog. But before she can celebrate, the paparazzi recover and reveal themselves to be cyborgs sent from the future to destroy the leader of the resistance . . . wait, wrong reference. However, they do reveal themselves to be cyborg photogs sent to destroy Britney (again, I must point out the Britstory, as South Park ran a Britney episode where the townsfolk used their cameras to snap pictures of Britney, thus killing her. Another kudos if the cyborgs were a reference to that).
Before all hope is lost some dude shows up and offers Britney a ride. Apparently, he's from the show Weeds, though all we see him carry is a carton of milk. In the one scene that baffles me, after Britney jumps in his ride (because he looks like a trustworthy fellow), our hero pulls out the milk and begins to pour it on himself. Britney's reaction is . . . arousal? I guess it pays to drink milk around Britney (it DOES do a body good and I can imagine Britney has drunken her fair share).
As they ride off into the sunset (or the green screen) our hero begins to spark (and it has nothing to do with the chemistry between himself and Britney). It turns out he's some kind of cyborg, as well. Uh-oh! Thankfully, we find out it was all a dream (just like when Patrick Duffy died on Dallas).
Perhaps the best part is the very end, when our hero shows up again, in human form, to take Britney away from the inquisitive media, but not before turning toward the camera with glowing eyes while laughter is heard. A total homage to "Thriller." Unfortunately, the laughter didn't come from Vincent Price, so that knocks it down slightly.
All in all, this is a video that is sure to receive some VMA nominations. Personally, I think "Hold it Against Me" is Britney's best video this year, but I would not be upset if "I Wanna Go" won some awards.
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