You may be tempted to think Britney fans are human. They are not. They're robots programmed to function a certain way. And like all robots, there have been flaws along the way. Most models get updated every year, but there are some older models still floating around.
There are roughly 10 or so different types of fan, such as:
Voting Bots
Stan Bots
Arguing Bots
Buying Bots
Promoting Bots
Artistic Bots
Singing Bots
Dancing Bots
Crazy Bots
Obsessive Bots
As I said, each bot receives an upgrade yearly, though flaws pop up now and then. Voting Bots were programmed to vote for Britney in any and all situations, i.e. they'll vote for her video on VH1 and they'll vote for her to win a poll. Voting Bots were also equipped with the ability to make threads in forums asking others to vote as well.
Stan Bots were programmed to defend Britney in every and all situations. If a Gaga fan says something bad about Britney, a Stan Bot will immediately respond with one of a couple programmed phrases: "Godney!" "Your fav could never," "Britney slays your favs," and the reciting of statistics like albums sold. Unfortunately, do to all the energy to run, the Stan Bot breaks down quite frequently and often needs replacing. Newer Stan Bots come equipped with the ignore function allowing them to ignore any and all facts about Britney that don't promote her awesomeness.
Arguing Bots were programmed to start fights with other fans and get under their skin. These bots will routinely and randomly post topics that have nothing to do with anything other than starting a Britney war. They come equipped with such phrases as "Britney > Gaga," "Irrelevantina," and "Britney invented . . ." The major flaw with the Arguing Bot is how they can sometimes, in trying to argue for Britney, use stats that make her look bad. Newer models now have an off switch, though locating it is nearly impossible.
Buying Bots simply exist to buy everything Britney makes, whether it be music, movies, clothes or fragrances. A small defect occurs when the Buying Bot overbuys causing it to crash.
Promoting Bots are similar to Buying Bots, except they encourage other people to do the buying. These bots also promote Britney's appearances and concert dates. A popular feature with these bots is the "Download [insert product here] week" where they will encourage people to download a certain item, like Britney's Blackout, for an entire week. A major flaw that has yet to be corrected is shutting them up. They also tend to get hung up on certain items, asking you to buy something regardless of how old it is (such as Blackout).
Artistic Bots were designed to create blends, backgrounds, wallpapers and graphics. One problem is that these bots don't know what's good and what's bad.
Singing and Dancing Bots were designed to sing and dance. They post videos of themselves singing and dancing, talk about how they love to sing and dance, and encourage others to sing and dance. These bots are routinely upgraded with better singing and dancing skills; however, older bots with poor singing and dancing skills still exist. Beware.
Crazy Bots seem normal. They talk about Britney and love Britney like anyone else. However, Crazy Bots tend to overuse emoticons and exclamation points and words ending in -ney. These bots are programmed with phrases like "Assney," "Blondney," Danceney," "Liveney," and "Sexney."
Obsessive Bots are, quite simply, the worst. They talk only about Britney. They believe everything they hear. They bitch when things don't go the way they want. They own every piece of Britney merchandise available. These bots spout off opinions as fact. Example: "Britney's team is so stupid. Unusual You would have been a huge hit." Obsessive Bots love to tell you how it is. Example: "Free Britney. This conservatorship is bullshit." Avoid Obsessive Bots at all times. They are dangerous. A flaw occurs when you try to reason with the Obsessive Bot, because it will become a combination Stan Bot and Arguing Bot. It will spout phrases that make no sense like "Britney owns your life," "Britney owns your soul," and "jealous hater."
If you encounter a bot, please turn around and walk in the other direction. Don't make any sudden movements or that may cause them to activate.
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