Here are Britney's albums, ranked from worst to best, in my opinion. Standard album only, no bonus tracks included.
7. "Oops! . . . I Did it Again" - No iconic songs hurt an otherwise solid from top to bottom album (minus the wretched "Dear Diary"). Probably the album that showcased her voice best, before she became commercial (I mean, more than she already was).
6. "...Baby One More Time" - One all-time classic (the title track) and one other really good song (Crazy), plus a lot of filler make for a good enough debut. Nowhere near as good as the rest of her catalog. Plus, "E-Mail My Heart" is one of the worst songs ever recorded. Also, what is "Soda Pop" even about?
5. "Britney" - Thanks to "I'm A Slave 4 U" Britney got real sexy, real quick. It also looked like she was gonna start writing a ton more songs (oops, I guess not). It would have been better without the cheesy "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" or the cliched "Overprotected."
4. "Circus" - Britney's return to a traditional pop album after the experimental "Blackout," "Circus" has a few teary ballads (including one about her kids). Chock full of good songs - "Womanizer," "If U Seek Amy" and "Circus" - the album was Britney's alleged comeback. It does suffer from some weirdness like "Mannequin" and "Mmm Papi."
3. "In the Zone" - This album features the song that put Britney back on the map - "Toxic." After a dispute with Clear Channel, Britney needed a big radio hit and she got it. "In the Zone" also features Madonna, though it's basically a weak track. Best part of the album: Britney wrote a top 20 hit in "Everytime."
2. "Blackout" - Argued by many to be the greatest Britney album ever, it suffers from a few mistakes, namely concerning the amount of work Britney actually did for the album. Regardless, this album is loaded with great songs, from "Gimme More" to "Toy Soldier." It's a non-stop dance party until you get to the last song, "Why Should I Be Sad?" Of course, this was the start of auto-tune overload.
1. "Femme Fatale" - This album features a murder's row of hits: "Till the World Ends," "Hold it Against Me," "Inside Out," "I Wanna Go," and "How I Roll." And those are just the first five songs. Two missteps include "(Drop Dead) Beautiful" and "Seal it With a Kiss." Other than that, you could put this album on and no one would complain.
Agree/disagree?
Friday, October 26, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
I Love You So Much I'm Gonna Sue Your Family
There are many ways to express your love for a girl: flowers, chocolates, a poem, a song, or just saying "I love you." If you're Sam Lutfi, though, the best way to express your love for a woman is to sue her and her family and drag her name through the mud. Such a romantic, that guy.
In his opening statement, Sam's lawyer claimed that his client cared for Britney and was trying to help her back in 2007. After that selfless act, he was verbally assaulted and abused by Britney's family. So much so that his once sparkling reputation is now and forever unclean.
Once you've stopped laughing, think about this: he cared about Britney so much that he reportedly, according to his lawyer, wouldn't be her manager if she remained on drugs. Supposedly, Britney was so fucked up at the time, he said he'd only be her manager if she got clean. Then, six months later, she supposedly overdosed on some medication and had to be carted away to the hospital. Apparently, at least according to Sam's lawyer, she never got clean. Yet, even though his lawyer said he wouldn't be her manager if she kept using, he's demanding to be paid for managerial duties, all the while the lawyer claimed she kept using.
To summarize, Sam wants to be paid for his work as her manager during a time Britney was supposedly addicted to drugs, even after saying he wouldn't manage her if she was addicted to drugs. Make sense?
It's very confusing, especially when you consider how much Sam supposedly cares for Britney. Cares enough to sue her and her family.
This whole case seems like a slam dunk for Team Britney. 1) If she was fucked up, she couldn't have been mentally competent to hire anyone to be her manager, 2) With Sam saying he wouldn't manage her if she was fucked up, then the lawyer saying she overdosed six months later, it proves that either Sam is a liar and he didn't care if she was fucked up or he was never her manager, and 3) There are enough restraining orders against Sam to show that his character was already irrevocably damaged before Britney's mom trashed him in her book.
Strangely, according to TMZ, Britney's defense team said in its opening statement that Britney was messed up because of her breakup with Justin Timberlake. What? Something that happened in 2002 caused Britney to go off the deep end in 2007?
I'm not a lawyer, but in what universe does that make any sense? With all the info out there about Sam being a douchebag, not to mention the contradictory statements, why would they choose to start with her breakup to JT?
I don't know what's worse: Sam caring enough about Britney to sue her or her defense team bringing up a breakup that happened 10 years ago?
Thankfully, Britney can focus on X-Factor and music. The only hope for the rest of us is that this trial wraps up quickly.
In his opening statement, Sam's lawyer claimed that his client cared for Britney and was trying to help her back in 2007. After that selfless act, he was verbally assaulted and abused by Britney's family. So much so that his once sparkling reputation is now and forever unclean.
Once you've stopped laughing, think about this: he cared about Britney so much that he reportedly, according to his lawyer, wouldn't be her manager if she remained on drugs. Supposedly, Britney was so fucked up at the time, he said he'd only be her manager if she got clean. Then, six months later, she supposedly overdosed on some medication and had to be carted away to the hospital. Apparently, at least according to Sam's lawyer, she never got clean. Yet, even though his lawyer said he wouldn't be her manager if she kept using, he's demanding to be paid for managerial duties, all the while the lawyer claimed she kept using.
To summarize, Sam wants to be paid for his work as her manager during a time Britney was supposedly addicted to drugs, even after saying he wouldn't manage her if she was addicted to drugs. Make sense?
It's very confusing, especially when you consider how much Sam supposedly cares for Britney. Cares enough to sue her and her family.
This whole case seems like a slam dunk for Team Britney. 1) If she was fucked up, she couldn't have been mentally competent to hire anyone to be her manager, 2) With Sam saying he wouldn't manage her if she was fucked up, then the lawyer saying she overdosed six months later, it proves that either Sam is a liar and he didn't care if she was fucked up or he was never her manager, and 3) There are enough restraining orders against Sam to show that his character was already irrevocably damaged before Britney's mom trashed him in her book.
Strangely, according to TMZ, Britney's defense team said in its opening statement that Britney was messed up because of her breakup with Justin Timberlake. What? Something that happened in 2002 caused Britney to go off the deep end in 2007?
I'm not a lawyer, but in what universe does that make any sense? With all the info out there about Sam being a douchebag, not to mention the contradictory statements, why would they choose to start with her breakup to JT?
I don't know what's worse: Sam caring enough about Britney to sue her or her defense team bringing up a breakup that happened 10 years ago?
Thankfully, Britney can focus on X-Factor and music. The only hope for the rest of us is that this trial wraps up quickly.
Friday, October 12, 2012
The Numbers Don't Lie
I love Britney Spears. Anyone who knows me knows that. Which is why it's so disheartening to say that, as of now, X-Factor wasted its $15M on her.
Although the shows have been entertaining, Britney just hasn't brought in the viewers. The first two shows saw less than nine million people tune in. Even with all the hype and promo, The Voice beat out X-Factor's big debut. From there, the numbers got better, but only the fourth show reached 10 million viewers.
The Wednesday shows routinely do better ratings with the second hour always higher than the first. Unfortunately, you can't say the show is growing its audience because this Wednesday's show was only the fourth most watched. In fact, Thursday show, featuring Britney's and LA Reid's teams will be one of the least watched (once final numbers come in; preliminary numbers have the show as the least watched, but they could trend upward slightly).
Paying Britney $15M to get the same ratings as Survivor seems ridiculous when you realize that no one on Survivor makes anywhere near that kind of money. There's no chance Britney comes back for a second season unless the live shows see a major ratings increase.
I know there is a lot of competition - Modern Family, Survivor, Big Bang Theory - but that competition existed last year and X-Factor did as well or even better.
Other than saying how awesome Britney's been as a judge, it's hard to spin it to make it look like she's been worth the money. Doesn't it seem like Simon Cowell could have kept Paula Abdul or Nicole Scherzinger, brought in Demi Lovato, and still be doing the same ratings. There'd be less buzz, sure, but buzz hasn't lead to viewers. I know there's been lots of talk on social media about the show, but people talk on social media about Idol and that show didn't fare so well last season.
Obviously, this won't affect Britney's career. She'll still be in demand. It's just disheartening to see that maybe she's not quite as popular as she used to be.
Fortunately, we haven't reached the live shows yet. There's a chance people are merely waiting until then to turn in. Maybe people want to see Britney unedited. It's possible that the numbers could see a big climb when the show goes live in a few weeks. I hope so. Britney's good. So is Demi.
In life it's about quality over quantity. Unfortunately, in business it's mostly about quantity. Not, how good is your product, but, how many people are buying it. We need more buyers for X-Factor. It's actually a pretty good product.
Although the shows have been entertaining, Britney just hasn't brought in the viewers. The first two shows saw less than nine million people tune in. Even with all the hype and promo, The Voice beat out X-Factor's big debut. From there, the numbers got better, but only the fourth show reached 10 million viewers.
The Wednesday shows routinely do better ratings with the second hour always higher than the first. Unfortunately, you can't say the show is growing its audience because this Wednesday's show was only the fourth most watched. In fact, Thursday show, featuring Britney's and LA Reid's teams will be one of the least watched (once final numbers come in; preliminary numbers have the show as the least watched, but they could trend upward slightly).
Paying Britney $15M to get the same ratings as Survivor seems ridiculous when you realize that no one on Survivor makes anywhere near that kind of money. There's no chance Britney comes back for a second season unless the live shows see a major ratings increase.
I know there is a lot of competition - Modern Family, Survivor, Big Bang Theory - but that competition existed last year and X-Factor did as well or even better.
Other than saying how awesome Britney's been as a judge, it's hard to spin it to make it look like she's been worth the money. Doesn't it seem like Simon Cowell could have kept Paula Abdul or Nicole Scherzinger, brought in Demi Lovato, and still be doing the same ratings. There'd be less buzz, sure, but buzz hasn't lead to viewers. I know there's been lots of talk on social media about the show, but people talk on social media about Idol and that show didn't fare so well last season.
Obviously, this won't affect Britney's career. She'll still be in demand. It's just disheartening to see that maybe she's not quite as popular as she used to be.
Fortunately, we haven't reached the live shows yet. There's a chance people are merely waiting until then to turn in. Maybe people want to see Britney unedited. It's possible that the numbers could see a big climb when the show goes live in a few weeks. I hope so. Britney's good. So is Demi.
In life it's about quality over quantity. Unfortunately, in business it's mostly about quantity. Not, how good is your product, but, how many people are buying it. We need more buyers for X-Factor. It's actually a pretty good product.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
An Open Letter to Lindsay Lohan
Dear Lindsay,
You seem like a really nice girl. I don't know you, but you seem sweet. You're not perfect, obviously, but I can tell you're doing your best.
That's why it's so hard to watch you constantly get into trouble. If it's not drugs, it's alcohol or stealing or fighting with your parents. It's always something. Some guy allegedly beats you up. Some random dude who somehow found his way into your hotel room supposedly assaulted you. That's not good.
You would have us believe the world is against you. Somehow God has conspired to make your life miserable. That's probably not true, if we're being honest. Truthfully, you probably bring this stuff on yourself by making poor life choices.
OK, let's say that you don't drink or do drugs any more. Great. But you manage to find yourself at places where alcohol and drugs are prevalent. Not great. Also not great: your crazy parents. Neither seems to be employed, unless you count making money off you as a job. Not only that, but they seem to know next to nothing about parenting.
You need to break the cycle. Far be it from me to tell you what to do. But here's some suggestions:
1. Avoid places where people drink. Drinkers tend to turn to drunks. Drunks are bad for someone like yourself who's on the wagon.
2. Avoid people who use drugs. Those people will eventually try to get you to use drugs. That would be a bad idea. Don't try to get them to stop using drugs, because that won't work. Just remove yourself from their life.
3. Move far away from your parents and never speak to them. They're allegedly grown-ups, so let them fend for themselves. They're nothing but bad news.
4. Nothing good happens after midnight, so stay in. Unless you need to have Taco Bell at 12:30 a.m. there's no reason to be out that late. And you don't need Taco Bell at 12:30 a..m. (trust me).
5. Shorten your list of friends by half. When you're famous you don't just have friends, you also have friends of friends of friends of friends. Everyone knows someone that knows someone that knows you. You need to reduce that number. Since you can't cut out the friends of friends, you need to cut out the friends. Demi Lovato just said she did a friends cleanse. You should, too.
I'm no expert, not a doctor, but this is just some friendly advice. You've made some pretty good movies. Mean Girls is great. Freaky Friday is really good. Herbie the Love Bug is better than it should be. I liked Just My Luck better than everyone else. But you can't make these movies if you're always the lead story on TMZ. You know who will make those movies: Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence and Rachel McAdams. Women who aren't the lead story on TMZ.
In summation: you're awesome - beautiful, talented, a hard worker (when you're not in court) - so it hurts to see you always in trouble. Stay out of trouble and take those roles back from Emma, Jennifer and Rachel. Get some money, don't give it to your parents (or hangers-on), and live a long, successful, happy life.
You deserve it.
You seem like a really nice girl. I don't know you, but you seem sweet. You're not perfect, obviously, but I can tell you're doing your best.
That's why it's so hard to watch you constantly get into trouble. If it's not drugs, it's alcohol or stealing or fighting with your parents. It's always something. Some guy allegedly beats you up. Some random dude who somehow found his way into your hotel room supposedly assaulted you. That's not good.
You would have us believe the world is against you. Somehow God has conspired to make your life miserable. That's probably not true, if we're being honest. Truthfully, you probably bring this stuff on yourself by making poor life choices.
OK, let's say that you don't drink or do drugs any more. Great. But you manage to find yourself at places where alcohol and drugs are prevalent. Not great. Also not great: your crazy parents. Neither seems to be employed, unless you count making money off you as a job. Not only that, but they seem to know next to nothing about parenting.
You need to break the cycle. Far be it from me to tell you what to do. But here's some suggestions:
1. Avoid places where people drink. Drinkers tend to turn to drunks. Drunks are bad for someone like yourself who's on the wagon.
2. Avoid people who use drugs. Those people will eventually try to get you to use drugs. That would be a bad idea. Don't try to get them to stop using drugs, because that won't work. Just remove yourself from their life.
3. Move far away from your parents and never speak to them. They're allegedly grown-ups, so let them fend for themselves. They're nothing but bad news.
4. Nothing good happens after midnight, so stay in. Unless you need to have Taco Bell at 12:30 a.m. there's no reason to be out that late. And you don't need Taco Bell at 12:30 a..m. (trust me).
5. Shorten your list of friends by half. When you're famous you don't just have friends, you also have friends of friends of friends of friends. Everyone knows someone that knows someone that knows you. You need to reduce that number. Since you can't cut out the friends of friends, you need to cut out the friends. Demi Lovato just said she did a friends cleanse. You should, too.
I'm no expert, not a doctor, but this is just some friendly advice. You've made some pretty good movies. Mean Girls is great. Freaky Friday is really good. Herbie the Love Bug is better than it should be. I liked Just My Luck better than everyone else. But you can't make these movies if you're always the lead story on TMZ. You know who will make those movies: Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence and Rachel McAdams. Women who aren't the lead story on TMZ.
In summation: you're awesome - beautiful, talented, a hard worker (when you're not in court) - so it hurts to see you always in trouble. Stay out of trouble and take those roles back from Emma, Jennifer and Rachel. Get some money, don't give it to your parents (or hangers-on), and live a long, successful, happy life.
You deserve it.
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