Monday, June 20, 2011

He About to Lose Her

I'm touching hands with someone seriously beautiful
She's got a ring on and I feel she's getting far too close
I'm hearing lies as she tells me that she don't got a man
She strokes my hair and says that she will be my biggest fan

But she's got someone waiting at home
He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that

He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her

I feel her body getting warmer as I grab her waist
She can tell I'm turned on as she stares me in the face
She must be soaking wet; I can smell her a mile away
When she makes her move I know exactly what to say

But she's got someone waiting at home

He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that

He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her


Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing
He stares as I touch her hair, he knows I could take it there
Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing
She gotta, she gotta go
He don't know that


He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that

He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her

I'm making love with someone seriously beautiful

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Gay Blog

I'm "obsessed" with Britney Spears, I'm going to see Katy Perry in concert, I'm listening to "Like the Wind" from a movie I've seen 20 times right as I type this, I own "Crossroads," "The Notebook" and "Hairspray," and I've seen "Twilight" so many times I can practically recite the movie line for line.  Does that make me gay?  What does it mean to be gay?
I've never kissed a guy nor do I have any interest in doing so.  But do my choices in music and movies make me gay?
I don't FEEL gay.  I just happen to like what I like.  I also like traditionally straight male things like wrestling, sports, rock music (I'm listening to Seether as I type this), girls, etc.  It just so happens I listen to Britney Spears and can name more than five brands of women's shoes.
I guess the question is what makes someone gay.  If you liked the same-sex but hated Lady Gaga or liked Lady Gaga but not the same-sex, is one "gayer" than the other or one not gay at all?

Monday, June 6, 2011

Don't Call Me a Diva . . .

. . . Or why it sucks to be a female professional wrestler in 2011.
There's no denying the heyday of wrestling has gone by the wayside. In fact, some companies who shall remain nameless even refuse to call what they do wrestling. It's sports entertainment. Which leads one to surmise that those who practice such a thing are called sports entertainers (when, in reality, they're called "superstars," even though many aren't very super).
There is really only one kind of superstar, but there are two kinds of wrestlers: only men can be superstars in the WWE, because the women are Divas. In TNA (or Impact Wrestling as it is now known), the women are wrestlers, but they're called Knockouts. Confusing?
In WWE, the women (Divas) wrestle for the Divas Championship, while in Impact Wrestling, the women (Knockouts) wrestle for the Knockouts Championship (unless you're ODB, then it's the Knocked Up Championship). That seems simple, until you factor in the past where the WWE Divas wrestled for the Women's Championship. Apparently that title was removed because you can't have women wrestling over a women's championship. In WWE, Divas fight over a Divas Title.
To recap: Impact Wrestling Knockouts (formerly TNA Knockouts) wrestle for the Knockouts Championship; WWE Divas fight/compete/anything but wrestle for the Divas Championship. In terms of simplicity, Knockouts clearly defeat Divas (plus, the Divas Title looks like it should accompany Barbie in her dream house).
The problem is that it doesn't really pay to be either. Both companies technically have matches featuring women, but if the ladies got paid by the minute they'd have to look for other work (heck, if they got paid by the second, they'd need a second job).
To Impact's credit, it usually features the Knockouts over many segments over the course of the two hours. WWE Divas 99 percent of the time are all lumped into one five-minute segment (which usually lasts less than five minutes). In fact, many of the Divas are relegated to WWE's Internet shows like NXT and Superstars.
So, even though Impact is a more female-heavy show, neither company knows what to do with its ladies. For instance, Gail Kim left WWE to work for Impact (then TNA), had great matches with Awesome Kong (now Kharma in WWE), basically positioned herself as one of the best female workers in America, came back to WWE, and is currently persona-non-grata.
On the other side, many of Impact's Knockouts constantly leave and come back. Roxxi has made more returns than bad Christmas gifts. Traci Brooks seemingly returned not long ago to side with her real life husband Kazarian, but hasn't been seen since. ODB, another recent returnee, is currently feuding with Velvet Sky, but as history has shown, she'll be out the door again soon.
Sadly, most of the women just mentioned are extremely talented and deserve better. Unfortunately, they're five years too late. In Oct. 2006, Trish Stratus retired from WWE basically ending women's wrestling as we know it in the US. Any mention of Divas or Knockouts should be referenced with BTR and ATR (Before Trish Retired and After Trish Retired).
It's sad to see such talent wasted. But to make a decent living, Impact and WWE are really the only options (unless one wants to live in Japan). It would be wise to question why someone busts their ass to learn the craft when all they'll get is two minutes to display it.
Women like Eve, Layla, Velvet, Maryse, and others all trained hard and put in the effort to become competent in the ring. Unfortunately, other than maybe one or two PPV matches per year, none of them are given the chance to shine.
Trish came from nothing, worked her ass off, and was given the opportunity to become a legend. None of these women today have that same chance.
In other words: Free the Women! Let Them Wrestle!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Brittany Speers

Have you ever been to a restaurant, tried the food, found you didn't like it, but when back another time because you wanted to give the restaurant a second chance? I'm sure we've all done that. It's commonplace to give second chances.
We do it with people all the time. We fight, break up, and get back together. But at some point we all cut the cord. We have to or we'd go crazy.
Then there's the relationship between Britney Spears and her fans. I've heard time and again complaints about x, y, and z. She can't dance, doesn't care, has dead eyes, etc. And these complaints come from the same people repeated ad naseum. If you see a Britney performance once and are disappointed, twice and are disappointed, the third time you're disappointed you have to start looking in the mirror. At some point your disappointment is on you.
By the third time you've been to that restaurant you dislike you have to ask yourself why you keep going back. It's almost like you forgot you disliked it.
Perhaps you once loved that restaurant and keep going back waiting to taste the great dishes you did years ago. Eventually, you have to realize this restaurant is not going to be like it was and you either accept that or move on. It's foolish to continue eating somewhere you don't like just because you used to like it.
Or, substituting in people, it's just as foolish to go back to someone you used to love simply because you used to love them. At some point you need to move on.
When people complained about Britney's performances on Good Morning America they had every right to give her a second chance. If those same people disliked her Jimmy Kimmel performanes, then they have to come to the realization that, at least for them, Britney doesn't have it any more.
By the time the Billboard Music Awards rolled around, those people should not have watched liked the person who runs back to an ex love expecting things to be like the way they were. They should have understood the way things are and accepted it.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
It's time for people to stop living in the past.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Femme Fatale Review

Disclaimer: before I begin, I have to admit two things: I don't go to clubs and I'm not a musical elitist (and you can take that to mean I have bad taste in music if you wish). I mention the first part mainly so people know off the bat I'm not going to say this album will be hot in the clubs, because I'm not there. I could assume, but I'd rather not. I think the second part speaks for itself.

Where does one begin a review of a Britney Spears album? If I were being paid to write this I'd probably spend a paragraph or two talking about the actual music (to trick the reader into thinking I bothered to really listen to the album) before using the entire middle of the review to talk about her personal life. Then I'd end by pointing out how people in the clubs will love the album. However, since I'm not being paid, I'll try and stick to the music.
Femme Fatale sounds like every Britney album ever recorded and like nothing she's ever recorded. How? Simple, since she's singing it (and, yes, she does sing) and doing her trademark coos and groans and come-ons, it sounds like Britney. But when you get past that, it sounds like nothing else.
It is both an album of been-there-done-that and been-where-done-what. The familiar feeling comes from it forcing the listener to get on the dance floor; the new sensation is how it gets the listener on the dance floor. An album with both whistling and flutes is not one easily dismissible as the same-old same-old.
When you review an album you can't help but talk about how the album came to be. Many critics are quick to point out that producers Max Martin and Dr. Luke run the show, and label the album as nothing more than their toy. In this case, the toy is a jack-in-the-box. But when you wind it up, Britney pops out, does a number, then goes back inside. See, many critics want the reader to think Britney's being controlled and that she just records whatever is in front of her.
I say, as Homer Simpson would say, nuts to that. How do I know Britney doesn't just pop out when called upon? I study my history (and I don't mean the Spanish-American War). This history only goes back 13 years to when Britney first stepped her dainty little toes onto the American stage. It goes back to "Baby One More Time;" not the song, but the video. It's been documented time and again that the original concept was much different than what was actually filmed. It was most likely terrible. But Britney stepped up to the plate and made some key adjustments (namely everything), creating a classic video that has stood the test of time.
That's not the only time Britney has taken the reigns. There have been many instances where Britney's been in control. This is, at the end of the day, her music. Femme Fatale is her album. If it fails it's on her head, not Max and Luke's.
Therefore, to say she's just an instrument producers use to try stuff out on, means she doesn't care. If she didn't care she wouldn't keep making music. Britney doesn't shout from the rooftops about all the things she does, but make no mistake, she does a lot.
On Femme Fatale she amps up the bass (with help from Will.i.am), the beats, and any and all things starting with the letter B (and practically every letter). The most amazing thing about Britney is how she brings herself to every song. Regardless of how processed her voice is, the producers can't get rid of her. And on some songs, like (Drop Dead) Beautiful and Seal it With a Kiss, her voice is very processed. Regardless, it's her.
And it's amazing. For the most part, the album is fantastic. You spend the entire duration bobbing your head, singing along or flat-out dancing. If the lyrics are meaningless, who said they were supposed to be meaningful. Britney has said time and again that she loves to dance. This album will get you dancing (and if you're bothered by the lyrical content (or lack thereof), perhaps you're listening to the wrong album).
I can't say it's the best album Britney's ever recorded (need more listens for that), but it immediately gets in your head and builds a home. "Till the World Ends" and "Hold it Against Me" blow the album up, and once you reach "I Wanna Go" you'll wanna go somewhere with a lot of room to scream, yell and dance. Best part: like Blackout, the album never lets up. All you get is more: bass, treble and tricks
The second best part: the album is 99 percent Britney with only two collaborators. Many albums nowadays feature the artist and 100 other people. Britney always gives you Britney. Love her or hate her, you never have to wonder whose album it is.
By the end of the deluxe edition, Britney throws a rock song at you. Maybe it's not actually rock, but it features guitars and drums (probably not actual guitars and drums, though). Point being that she's up for anything. And so are the producers. That's why Britney's never boring and always keeps you on your toes.
She leaves her personal life at the door when she enters the studio. And when you listen to Femme Fatale, you should, too. Appreciate it for what it is, because it's quite good at it.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Story of Britney Spears

Has Britney Spears become complacent?
She told V Magazine that she gets sent songs from all over the world.  It's no secret that many of her albums don't feature songs written by her.  Obviously, whether that's her own personal decision or the label's is unknown.  But it's not out of the question to suggest Britney may have decided at some point that she needn't do anything.  Why lift a finger when the world is at your beck and call?
While I'm sure many big name artists are constantly inundated with material, if you really have something specific to say, odds are very slim someone else can say it for you.  But Britney said herself she likes dance music; music to play at a club or before you go to the club.  Anyone can make that kind of music.
Don't get me wrong, Britney is an original.  No one can sing like her, annunciate like her, be her.  But, if the world was at your feet, what would you do?  If you could pick and choose from the best of the best, would you forsake that and go your own way?
As a writer, I want to be disappointed Britney seemingly takes the easy road.  I want to be upset she doesn't fight to have a voice.  But maybe she does have a voice.  It's just not entirely her own.
Other than a few songs, My Baby, Everytime and Someday to name a few, lyrics don't matter to Britney.  Perhaps that's the way she wants it: simple, direct and no questions asked.  No one will ever ask her what the meaning behind Hold it Against Me is.  That song merely exists for the purpose of existing.  If that makes no sense, then Britney's point is proved.  It's music for music's sake, which seems to be exactly what she wants.
No questions asked, no questions answered.
If her truest thoughts and feelings aren't in her music, then they're still in her head.  Still private.  No one really knows how Britney feels.  Maybe that's the way she wants it.
In the world of Spears, her doll parts are more exposed than her innermost feelings.  That may seem illogical, but then again, no one ever asked her about her doll parts.
Maybe she's complacent, maybe she's guarded, or maybe it's none of the above.  Whatever the case, as Britney herself said, her story "will make for a good book."
If it can't be a song, then that's the next best thing.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Untitled (This is Heartbreak)

I'm a total fuck up.
But isn't that how we all feel?  Except for those that have mastered the art of lying.
How can you not . . . admit you have faults and giant cracks in your skin.  Botox can't heal everything.
There's no plastic surgery that fixes the emptiness inside.  You have to repair that whole on your own.
I'm lost in life.
You should never master the art of lying.  Master the art of being honest, then no one could ever claim you're not being real.  No one wants to be fake.
You don't have to rip open your chest, remove your heart and cover the floor in your blood, but you can admit that you at least feel like doing that sometimes.
If someone tells you they don't care about you, your response shouldn't be "That's OK."  It should be open chest, remove heart, bleed all over floor.
Rejection is a bitch.  It's like wearing no shoes or socks in snow.  A sharp pain, then numbness, followed by the eventual slow thaw and soreness.  That's not fun for anyone.
This is heartbreak.  Your heart doesn't actually break; just everything else does.  You can't speak, think or comprehend.  If heartbreak were a gunshot, it wouldn't actually get you in the chest.  More like in the thigh or maybe the shoulder; just enough to weaken you and throw you off guard.
Tears are real.  Anyone who says they've never just cried has mastered the art of lying.  Avoid those people.  Standing in your doorway, bedroom, kitchen, those are all good places to cry if you feel the need.  You don't need to be physically or emotionally hurt.  Sometimes it's best if you're not.  It's more real that way.
Love is real, too.  Not as real as tears, but real nonetheless.  Sadly, only tears are forever.