Somehow we've come to the point where Britney Spears turns 30. Yes, the young ingenue is no longer young (or an ingenue). She's a mature, older woman with 13 years of experience in the music business. She is, dare I say, a veteran.
I can remember, back in the late 90s, when Madonna released a song on the Austin Powers' soundtrack thinking how long Madonna had been around. She has been around as long as I've been alive.
Around that time, a young lady from some small town no one ever heard of in Louisiana showed up. For all intents and purposes, she had one-hit wonder written all over her. Baby One More Time was a catchy pop song back when pop was making its comeback thanks to the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, the Spice Girls, Hanson, etc. Goodbye grunge, adios gangsta rap, see ya later alternative, it was pop's time to shine again.
Of course, as we all know, genres come and go in music in terms of popularity. The Spice Girls disappeared, BSB disappeared for a while, *NSYNC broke up, and pop music seemed destined once again to play second (or third or fourth) fiddle to other genres like R&B and country (not to mention nu-metal). Clearly, Britney's time was just about up.
But a funny thing happened while people were shoveling dirt on her grave: Britney decided to get up. She didn't rise from the dead - this is not a religious thing; however, she didn't allow herself to expire. Could she have quit 10 years ago and been remembered as that girl who sang that awesome song Baby One More Time? Sure. Berlin is still remembered as having sung Take My Breath Away and that was more than 10 years BEFORE Britney even showed up. We don't forget great songs.
Britney wanted more, though. Obviously, she wasn't intent on just being that girl who sang that song. She kept coming at us with infectious hit after infectious hit. She had what Simon Cowell might call the "X Factor" (or the French might call je ne sais quoi). At some point people started to realize Britney was for real.
The shelf life of a pop star isn't long. It's probably as long as that of an NFL running back - four or five years. Some are fortunate to get a hit and some might even get two. Realistically speaking, though, asking for anything more is asking for too much. Sure, some keep making albums, keep touring, keep releasing singles and videos, but they don't top the charts. So, for someone to survive 13 years is quite an impressive feat. Britney started making music at 17. She's now 30.
I don't know what drives Britney to keep churning out song after song. Critics don't particularly love her. Bloggers/gossip hounds/those in the media seem to take more pleasure when she's down than up (see: 2007). At any point over the years she could have packed it in. She's said many times she'd be a teacher if she wasn't a musician. It would have been easy to go that route after one or two hits - fade into obscurity, fall off the map like so many before her have.
I can remember watching TRL and thinking how nice Britney seemed. Today, I still think that. I've read 100s of interviews, many where it seemed as though she had no clue what was going on, and many more where I thought she was hysterical and totally got it. But I think that's how you stay relevant at 30 - you keep people guessing. Michael Jackson once said about Britney that too much of her was out there, that there was no mystery and she wouldn't last. Nowadays, I think he'd have a different opinion were he alive.
When you hit 30 you begin to evaluate your life. Am I where I want to be? Did I do what I wanted to do? In Britney's case, what didn't she do and where hasn't she been. How does she take stock of her life? How does she know if she missed anything?
Amazingly, in the past 13 years, Britney's had time for private moments. She found time for love, children, and more love. She's been held up and pushed down, picked on and praised, loved and hated, worshiped and vilified, and everything in between. That's a lot to pack into a life (and she's only a third of the way toward the end). Just imagine being 30 and accomplishing in such a short time what so many couldn't do in 10,000 years.
30 is a milestone birthday, or so they say. But Britney's reached every milestone imaginable. Sell one million records? Done. Sell 10 million records? Done. Sell a 100 million records, have #1 hits, be on TV, in the magazines, sell-out arenas all over the world, etc? Done, done, done, done, and done. In that regard, what does 30 even mean?
Will she slow done at 30? She didn't slow down at 29. In fact, she worked harder at 29 than she did at 28. Maybe she'll work harder at 30 than at 29. Who knows what she'll do. I'm confident she's not gonna quit, though. I have no proof of this, of course. I just know there's no reason to stop now.
When I turned 30 I couldn't believe I was that old. Now, Britney's turning 30 and I can't believe she's that old. Someday we'll both be 40 and 50 and 60 and, God willing, 70 and 80. And just like now I'll think, how did we get here?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
He's Always Been the One
When Britney was married and after her divorce, he was always there. It seems as though it's always been Jason. He's that friend you never really notice because you're always looking at other people. Women, especially, have a tendency to miss what's right in front of their faces.
It seems Jason simply bid his time until Britney was not only available but stable. Clearly, he stayed around even through the bad times and there had to be a reason for that. Sure, he might have been a friend, though as he never really involved himself in Britney's affairs they couldn't have been that close. No, he had to be waiting for the right time to make his move.
Obviously, I don't know what it took for Britney to realize she had everything she wanted right there in front of her, I don't think any man really knows how a woman finally figures it out. It seems they enjoy the chase or being chased. Between her marriage and this current relationship, Britney definitely had a few boyfriends (and potentially a few one nighters), so she seemed to be looking for something.
Do women not want someone who desires them, who's always there, who's trustworthy and stable? Would they rather chase a guy who's either not interested or playing not interested? Britney went after some Jewish model and a paparazzo, two relationships that had no chance from the beginning. All the while, Jason lurked in the background. 99 times out of 100, it seems that's the guy who ultimately gets chosen Why does it take so long?
Let's say it's not the chase. Then what, is it a search for someone better? Maybe it's the excitement of unexplored possibilities. Is Jason exciting or dangerous? That kinda guy never is. Clearly, if a woman is looking for a wild time, she'll have to look elsewhere.
It's amazing how stubborn women are. They just want it all, even if it means wasting years trying to find it.
It seems Jason simply bid his time until Britney was not only available but stable. Clearly, he stayed around even through the bad times and there had to be a reason for that. Sure, he might have been a friend, though as he never really involved himself in Britney's affairs they couldn't have been that close. No, he had to be waiting for the right time to make his move.
Obviously, I don't know what it took for Britney to realize she had everything she wanted right there in front of her, I don't think any man really knows how a woman finally figures it out. It seems they enjoy the chase or being chased. Between her marriage and this current relationship, Britney definitely had a few boyfriends (and potentially a few one nighters), so she seemed to be looking for something.
Do women not want someone who desires them, who's always there, who's trustworthy and stable? Would they rather chase a guy who's either not interested or playing not interested? Britney went after some Jewish model and a paparazzo, two relationships that had no chance from the beginning. All the while, Jason lurked in the background. 99 times out of 100, it seems that's the guy who ultimately gets chosen Why does it take so long?
Let's say it's not the chase. Then what, is it a search for someone better? Maybe it's the excitement of unexplored possibilities. Is Jason exciting or dangerous? That kinda guy never is. Clearly, if a woman is looking for a wild time, she'll have to look elsewhere.
It's amazing how stubborn women are. They just want it all, even if it means wasting years trying to find it.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Weeping
He sat down to cry and say goodbye,
but the tears they never came;
she held her head in their bed
weeping, weeping away.
She stole his tears, he took her fears
goodnight, goodnight sweetness;
she laughed and cried, he cut his eyes
goodnight, God love your kiss.
She slowed and slowed, knowed and knowed,
the time for tears was done;
as he crawled away, another day
to wage a war again.
She spoke in red while in their bed
and he threw the sheets away;
then picked her up, then up and up
to dance until the dawn.
She felt heavy, he wasn't ready
to say goodbye quite yet;
through her tears and faded years
he wept on and on and on.
Finally! water came, he felt no longer lame,
God gave him back his strength;
to carry heart, to really start
to walk the lonely length.
Down the stairs, down to there
down forever, down for good
to bury love and life,
to bury his sweet wife.
but the tears they never came;
she held her head in their bed
weeping, weeping away.
She stole his tears, he took her fears
goodnight, goodnight sweetness;
she laughed and cried, he cut his eyes
goodnight, God love your kiss.
She slowed and slowed, knowed and knowed,
the time for tears was done;
as he crawled away, another day
to wage a war again.
She spoke in red while in their bed
and he threw the sheets away;
then picked her up, then up and up
to dance until the dawn.
She felt heavy, he wasn't ready
to say goodbye quite yet;
through her tears and faded years
he wept on and on and on.
Finally! water came, he felt no longer lame,
God gave him back his strength;
to carry heart, to really start
to walk the lonely length.
Down the stairs, down to there
down forever, down for good
to bury love and life,
to bury his sweet wife.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Hits and Misses (But Mostly Misses)
- I think right about now Kim Kardashian wishes she didn't put her whole life on TV. Tough to ask for privacy when I can turn on E! and see Keeping Up With the Kardashians season 6. Must have been tough for Kim and Kris to stay together until the wedding aired on TV. I could see Kim trying to divorce him while Kris reminded her that they had a contract that prohibited them from divorcing before the wedding special aired. Awkward.
- Though I believe Justin Beiber could probably fuck 60 percent of the female population between the ages of 15-20, I highly doubt he's dumb enough to screw around on Selena Gomez, only one of the 10 most attractive people on the planet. Nothing against this Mariah Yeater person, but I've seen Selena Gomez and she's no Selena Gomez. I'm interested in what happens when the DNA test proves Beiber isn't the father. Does he jump up an down like people on the Maury Povich show do? Does Yeater claim the results were rigged? Will we ever find out who the real father is?
- Jail should be for violent offenders, pedophiles, armed robbers, and the like. So it's somewhat liberating that Lindsay Lohan's jail time (all of it) has been measured in hours and not days or weeks. There's a reason jail is overcrowded, and I'm guessing most of the people behind bars just happen to be black or Hispanic. Could you imagine Lindsay in the shower dropping the soap? Maybe she'd do it on purpose, since we know she's not adversed to women. Seriously, if Lindsay's crime is violating parole by not showing up for community service, not sure she's such a danger to society that she needs to be kept behind bars. Unless you're worried she'll crash your after-party uninvited. Of course, if I were throwing an after-party, Lindsay would be guest #1 on the list.
- Apparently, Avril Lavigne is anti-violence and she just happened to get jumped by 5 people without doing anything at all to deserve it. Not that anyone deserves to get mugged, and I like Avril, but when the cops showed up and she was one of the people who fled, well, victims don't usually flee the police. The only person who didn't run was her boyfriend Brody Jenner. Though, seeing as how he took a bottle to the head, he probably thought he was running when in reality he was just spinning around in a circle. Avril may have gotten her face fucked up, as she put it, but I'm thinking she wasn't the innocent little victim she's portraying herself as.
- Now that we have Twitter and Facebook, what exactly is the role of the publicist? Avril didn't release a statement about the fighting incident, she merely tweeted about it. Seriously, why pay someone to handle your problems when you can just tweet about them? If someone started a nasty rumor that Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore, he could simply take to his Twitter account and speak directly to his millions of Twitter followers. Like he did (though he used cryptic messages and never really said anything; so maybe publicists are still a necessity). Or, if you wanted to promote all your accomplishments, you don't need a publicist to type up some press release - not when you have Twitter and can simply retweet everything your fans say about you (I'm looking at you, Rihanna). Honestly, RTing "We Found Love is #1 in 26 countries" is a lot faster than sending out a press release. Plus, in the press release you can't say "#rihannanavy go hard."
- Maybe people would have jobs if they stopped protesting about how they don't have jobs. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it's tough to get a job when you spend all day holding a sign lamenting the government. It's hard to take your "More jobs, less government" sign seriously when you answer the question of why you don't have a job with "I was busy making this sign." Maybe the Occupy Wall Street protestors think they're getting paid. Maybe someone told them the longer they occupy, the more money they earn, like an IRA account. What is the ultimate goal, anyway? To occupy so long that eventually someone says, "OK, you win, just please go away. We'll give you whatever you want." Kinda like your lazy friend who stays on your couch and won't leave.
- If people celebrate the fact that Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter that shows how fucked up we are. First, we cried because Casey Anthony didn't get life in prison or the death penalty. Now, are we gonna celebrate someone having to spend years in prison? We should be more sad than anything that this whole ordeal took place, not tweeting #DoctorsBetterThanConradMurray. Unfortunately, everything in today's Internet age is a joke, something to poke fun at. Even and especially death. Sadly, celebrating Dr. Murray's guilty verdict won't bring Michael Jackson back. Even if it did, it sure wouldn't make him healthy again.
- Though I believe Justin Beiber could probably fuck 60 percent of the female population between the ages of 15-20, I highly doubt he's dumb enough to screw around on Selena Gomez, only one of the 10 most attractive people on the planet. Nothing against this Mariah Yeater person, but I've seen Selena Gomez and she's no Selena Gomez. I'm interested in what happens when the DNA test proves Beiber isn't the father. Does he jump up an down like people on the Maury Povich show do? Does Yeater claim the results were rigged? Will we ever find out who the real father is?
- Jail should be for violent offenders, pedophiles, armed robbers, and the like. So it's somewhat liberating that Lindsay Lohan's jail time (all of it) has been measured in hours and not days or weeks. There's a reason jail is overcrowded, and I'm guessing most of the people behind bars just happen to be black or Hispanic. Could you imagine Lindsay in the shower dropping the soap? Maybe she'd do it on purpose, since we know she's not adversed to women. Seriously, if Lindsay's crime is violating parole by not showing up for community service, not sure she's such a danger to society that she needs to be kept behind bars. Unless you're worried she'll crash your after-party uninvited. Of course, if I were throwing an after-party, Lindsay would be guest #1 on the list.
- Apparently, Avril Lavigne is anti-violence and she just happened to get jumped by 5 people without doing anything at all to deserve it. Not that anyone deserves to get mugged, and I like Avril, but when the cops showed up and she was one of the people who fled, well, victims don't usually flee the police. The only person who didn't run was her boyfriend Brody Jenner. Though, seeing as how he took a bottle to the head, he probably thought he was running when in reality he was just spinning around in a circle. Avril may have gotten her face fucked up, as she put it, but I'm thinking she wasn't the innocent little victim she's portraying herself as.
- Now that we have Twitter and Facebook, what exactly is the role of the publicist? Avril didn't release a statement about the fighting incident, she merely tweeted about it. Seriously, why pay someone to handle your problems when you can just tweet about them? If someone started a nasty rumor that Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore, he could simply take to his Twitter account and speak directly to his millions of Twitter followers. Like he did (though he used cryptic messages and never really said anything; so maybe publicists are still a necessity). Or, if you wanted to promote all your accomplishments, you don't need a publicist to type up some press release - not when you have Twitter and can simply retweet everything your fans say about you (I'm looking at you, Rihanna). Honestly, RTing "We Found Love is #1 in 26 countries" is a lot faster than sending out a press release. Plus, in the press release you can't say "#rihannanavy go hard."
- Maybe people would have jobs if they stopped protesting about how they don't have jobs. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it's tough to get a job when you spend all day holding a sign lamenting the government. It's hard to take your "More jobs, less government" sign seriously when you answer the question of why you don't have a job with "I was busy making this sign." Maybe the Occupy Wall Street protestors think they're getting paid. Maybe someone told them the longer they occupy, the more money they earn, like an IRA account. What is the ultimate goal, anyway? To occupy so long that eventually someone says, "OK, you win, just please go away. We'll give you whatever you want." Kinda like your lazy friend who stays on your couch and won't leave.
- If people celebrate the fact that Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter that shows how fucked up we are. First, we cried because Casey Anthony didn't get life in prison or the death penalty. Now, are we gonna celebrate someone having to spend years in prison? We should be more sad than anything that this whole ordeal took place, not tweeting #DoctorsBetterThanConradMurray. Unfortunately, everything in today's Internet age is a joke, something to poke fun at. Even and especially death. Sadly, celebrating Dr. Murray's guilty verdict won't bring Michael Jackson back. Even if it did, it sure wouldn't make him healthy again.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Was it All a Dream?
I sometimes ask myself if that really happened. Not just the umbrella incident but the whole year.
Did she really shave her head? Did she really sleepwalk through an entire VMA performance? Did she really lose custody of her kids? Where did Adnan and Sam come from and where did they go?
To see the person she is now is to wonder how she ever was that other person. I know people change all the time, go from bad to good and vice-versa, but I always wonder if the former really happened or if it was all a dream.
I was reminded of this incident, and other sad incidents in Britney's life, thanks to a post full of sad Britney pictures.
It's weird how time makes it seem like the past never happened. I mean I know I was in high school, just like I know I used to watch Britney on TRL. But it just feels like that never happened.
Did she really shave her head? Did she really sleepwalk through an entire VMA performance? Did she really lose custody of her kids? Where did Adnan and Sam come from and where did they go?
To see the person she is now is to wonder how she ever was that other person. I know people change all the time, go from bad to good and vice-versa, but I always wonder if the former really happened or if it was all a dream.
I was reminded of this incident, and other sad incidents in Britney's life, thanks to a post full of sad Britney pictures.
It's weird how time makes it seem like the past never happened. I mean I know I was in high school, just like I know I used to watch Britney on TRL. But it just feels like that never happened.
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