- I think right about now Kim Kardashian wishes she didn't put her whole life on TV. Tough to ask for privacy when I can turn on E! and see Keeping Up With the Kardashians season 6. Must have been tough for Kim and Kris to stay together until the wedding aired on TV. I could see Kim trying to divorce him while Kris reminded her that they had a contract that prohibited them from divorcing before the wedding special aired. Awkward.
- Though I believe Justin Beiber could probably fuck 60 percent of the female population between the ages of 15-20, I highly doubt he's dumb enough to screw around on Selena Gomez, only one of the 10 most attractive people on the planet. Nothing against this Mariah Yeater person, but I've seen Selena Gomez and she's no Selena Gomez. I'm interested in what happens when the DNA test proves Beiber isn't the father. Does he jump up an down like people on the Maury Povich show do? Does Yeater claim the results were rigged? Will we ever find out who the real father is?
- Jail should be for violent offenders, pedophiles, armed robbers, and the like. So it's somewhat liberating that Lindsay Lohan's jail time (all of it) has been measured in hours and not days or weeks. There's a reason jail is overcrowded, and I'm guessing most of the people behind bars just happen to be black or Hispanic. Could you imagine Lindsay in the shower dropping the soap? Maybe she'd do it on purpose, since we know she's not adversed to women. Seriously, if Lindsay's crime is violating parole by not showing up for community service, not sure she's such a danger to society that she needs to be kept behind bars. Unless you're worried she'll crash your after-party uninvited. Of course, if I were throwing an after-party, Lindsay would be guest #1 on the list.
- Apparently, Avril Lavigne is anti-violence and she just happened to get jumped by 5 people without doing anything at all to deserve it. Not that anyone deserves to get mugged, and I like Avril, but when the cops showed up and she was one of the people who fled, well, victims don't usually flee the police. The only person who didn't run was her boyfriend Brody Jenner. Though, seeing as how he took a bottle to the head, he probably thought he was running when in reality he was just spinning around in a circle. Avril may have gotten her face fucked up, as she put it, but I'm thinking she wasn't the innocent little victim she's portraying herself as.
- Now that we have Twitter and Facebook, what exactly is the role of the publicist? Avril didn't release a statement about the fighting incident, she merely tweeted about it. Seriously, why pay someone to handle your problems when you can just tweet about them? If someone started a nasty rumor that Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore, he could simply take to his Twitter account and speak directly to his millions of Twitter followers. Like he did (though he used cryptic messages and never really said anything; so maybe publicists are still a necessity). Or, if you wanted to promote all your accomplishments, you don't need a publicist to type up some press release - not when you have Twitter and can simply retweet everything your fans say about you (I'm looking at you, Rihanna). Honestly, RTing "We Found Love is #1 in 26 countries" is a lot faster than sending out a press release. Plus, in the press release you can't say "#rihannanavy go hard."
- Maybe people would have jobs if they stopped protesting about how they don't have jobs. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it's tough to get a job when you spend all day holding a sign lamenting the government. It's hard to take your "More jobs, less government" sign seriously when you answer the question of why you don't have a job with "I was busy making this sign." Maybe the Occupy Wall Street protestors think they're getting paid. Maybe someone told them the longer they occupy, the more money they earn, like an IRA account. What is the ultimate goal, anyway? To occupy so long that eventually someone says, "OK, you win, just please go away. We'll give you whatever you want." Kinda like your lazy friend who stays on your couch and won't leave.
- If people celebrate the fact that Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter that shows how fucked up we are. First, we cried because Casey Anthony didn't get life in prison or the death penalty. Now, are we gonna celebrate someone having to spend years in prison? We should be more sad than anything that this whole ordeal took place, not tweeting #DoctorsBetterThanConradMurray. Unfortunately, everything in today's Internet age is a joke, something to poke fun at. Even and especially death. Sadly, celebrating Dr. Murray's guilty verdict won't bring Michael Jackson back. Even if it did, it sure wouldn't make him healthy again.
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