What Are Women (And Why Do We Need Them)?

Every guy at one time in his life has asked the question, "What good are women?"  It's not a misogynistic question, not a sexist question, and surely not a mean-spirited question.  It's usually said (more specifically thought) out of confusion.  What good are women?
The easy answer is very.  Women are very good.  That's the easy answer.  The real answer is more difficult; women are not that good sometimes.  Women are impossible, a conundrum, evil, insane, pick your adjective.  Let's look at some examples:
* A woman will buy 25 pairs of shoes, but question why you had to buy a blu-ray DVD player.  She'll point out how she got those 25 pairs for less than you spent on the DVD player.  You might feel bad.  But when you look on the sole of one of those pairs and see red, just know that she did not, in fact, spend less than you did.
* A women will allow you to control the TV remote enough times to let you think you have some control in the relationship.  But when you look closer, you'll realize every show you pick is one she would have picked.  But when she gets to choose, you end up leaving the room.  Coincidence?  Not exactly.
* If you try to choose a restaurant, a women will allow you to pick.  Then she'll reject every choice you make, while at the same time telling you she doesn't care where you two eat.
* Your woman does the bills.  You think you have it good.  Look at the credit card bill one time and you'll see why she does the bills.
* Your woman fell for you because you're big and strong and she was attracted to your muscles and strong hands.  When you have sex, she tells you you're too rough.  How do you win?
* You left your wife for another girl.  You married the new girl.  Soon into the marriage she gets paranoid you might be cheating on her.  She's not happy.
* Women will gain weight, complain about it, yet never make the effort to lose the weight.  You tell her you love her the way she is.  She gives you the "go fuck yourself" eye roll.
* Women are never satisfied with how they look.  They are in constant competition with one another.  The boob job was not created because of man, it was created because one day a woman saw another woman with bigger boobs than hers and said, "Shit, I have to fix this."
* Women will bitch all day and night about that one other woman in the office.  One day you surprise her for lunch and she's chatting it up with "that bitch" like they're old friends.
* If you come home early from work and catch your woman with another man, it'll be your fault for coming home early.
* You may make most of the money, but she gets to decide how it's spent (don't worry, that closet full of dresses, shoes and jewelry is for you).
* If a woman offers to pay her half for a date, she's testing you, obviously.  You better tell her to put her money away.  However, if she demands to pay, you better let her.
Somehow, with that all being said, men would be nothing without women.  And some of us are smart enough to let the ladies know this.