Christmas in September

I don't know when Britney Spears' new album is coming out.  I assume this year.
I don't know when her new single is coming out.  I assume this month.
If the latter is true (and, really, it has to be if the former is true) everyone's Christmas wish will have been granted.  All Britney fans want for Christmas (or Hanukkah, if you're Jewish) is new music (OK, maybe a hot body, great hair, and sexy outfits, too).  Is that too much to ask for?
Let me be honest and say that, for me, I'm asking for something else.  I want everyone and their grandmothers to stop talking about the album.  I'm tired of hearing every producer known to man talk about the "hot songs" they're writing for Britney or the "hot beats" they're producing for Britney.  If they're so hot, save them for yourself.
I'm tired of people who've heard the album proclaiming it "her best work" or "a return to the Britney of old."  What does the second one even mean?  Are we getting "Sometimes Part 2?"  "Sometimes I still run/Sometimes I still hide."  It's like "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer," but without Jennifer Love Hewitt's massive chest (aka "I Still Know What Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs Did Last Summer").
I'm sure the album will be amazing.  Britney never disappoints.  I'm sure it will contain "hot beats" and "hot songs."  I just don't wanna hear about it.
I know that statement will offend every Britney fan alive (especially someone like ?, aka the cute blond who runs PoorBritney, since her whole online life depends on Britney news and gossip or someone like Jasmin who runs PieceofBritney or Jordan Miller who runs breatheheavy.com.  They all depend on people taking about Britney).  But I can survive without album discussion, since no album exists yet to discuss.
And, God only knows how bad it's going to get this coming week with the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 12, even though Adam Leber, Britney's manager, specifically said she isn't going to be there.  Someone will claim they heard something or one of Britney's official websites will foolishly post something that gets people thinking she IS going to appear (or, perhaps, Britney herself will tweet something that gets people thinking she's appearing).
Don't get me wrong, I love to talk about Britney's music and performances; just ones that, you know, actually exist.  I don't get excited thinking about fake song titles and fake album titles and fake duets with Lady Gaga (even though that would be epical).  Maybe I'm too old, and were I 16, I would fall all over myself talking about rumors and shit.  But I have a job and a life outside of Britney.  I just want the actual music.
When the album does come out, most people will have over-hyped themselves to the point that the actual disk can't compete with their own manifestations.  Just like with "Circus," a couple months after the release, fans will start bad-mouthing this new album.  It's sad, really.  Everyone has an idea of how Britney should sound.  When the album first drops, people are so excited they forget how they THOUGHT the album should have been.  It's only until a couple months go by, after they've listened to it 189 times that they remember, "Oh, yeah, this isn't the direction I wanted Britney to go in," and turn on it.
Make no mistake, this album will probably feature Max Martin, and fans will probably bash that song, and they'll probably do it after it reaches 150 plays on their iTunes.  I'm not saying Britney fans are hypocrites or stupid or ignorant, but . . . the facts speak for themselves.
I just know that my Christmas wish is probably not coming true.