This year saw a lot of great music being released. Here are my favorites in no particular order.
Top 10 albums:
Britney Spears - Femme Fatale
Beyonce - 4
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
Kanye West & Jay-Z - Watch the Throne
Foster the People - Torches
Augustana - Augustana
Colbie Caillat - All of You
Demi Lovato - Unbroken
Fitz & The Tantrums - Pickin' Up the Pieces
Lady Antebellum - Own the Night
Honorable Mentions:
Lenka - Two
Miranda Lambert - Four the Record
Nickelback - Here and Now
Rihanna - Talk That Talk
Seether - Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray
Vanessa Carlton - Rabbits on the Run
Weird Al - Alpocalypse
Avril Lavigne - Goodbye Lullaby
Jason Derulo - Future History
Top 10 songs:
Britney Spears - Till The World Ends
Lady Gaga - Edge of Glory
Beyonce - Love on Top
Adele - Rolling in the Deep
Kelly Clarkson - Alone
Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks
Colbie Caillat - Brighter Than the Sun
Lady Antebellum - We Owned the Night
Britney Spears - I Wanna Go
Lady Gaga - You and I
Other great songs:
Selena Gomez and the Scene - Who Says
Selena Gomez and the Scene - Whiplash
Lady Gaga - Hair
Britney Spears - Hold it Against Me/Inside Out/How I Roll
Miranda Lambert - Baggage Claim/Fastest Girl in Town
Foster the People - Houdini/Call it What You Want/Don't Stop
Kanye West & Jay-Z - No Church in the Wild/Lift Off
Demi Lovato - Hold Up/Skyscraper/My Love's Like a Star
Beyonce - Countdown/Best Thing I Never Had
Augustana - Steal Your Heart
Fitz and the Tantrums - MoneyGrabber
DeadMau5 - Raise Your Weapon
Daughtry - Crawling Back to You
David Cook - The Last Goodbye
Music can surprise you. After listening to Beyonce's first couple of singles I was prepared to be disappointed in the album. But leave it to Bey to save the best for last.
I expected Foster the People to have that one song and nothing else. Surprisingly, their whole album is solid.
It's amazing how women dominated the year. They seemed to release the best stuff.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Britney Spears: 30 for 30
In honor of Britney's birthday I decided to rank her 30 best singles* (in descending order). These are only songs she released in the US (which means no "I Love Rock N Roll" or "Born to Make You Happy" - not that they'd have made it anyway). Feel free to disagree.
30. Outrageous - Not much of a single due to Britney suffering a knee injury whilst shooting the video. Not a great song, either. Written and produced by R. Kelly, "Outrageous" is pretty blase. Not to mention lyrics that probably even Britney didn't get: Trench coat in my underwear (yes, I know, trench coat means condom).
29. Boys (Co-ed Remix) - This was on the Austin Powers: Goldmember soundtrack (and in the movie with Britney making a cameo). Doesn't help. For some reason it's been in every Britney tour since the song was released. I don't know why, since it's pretty generic.
28. Overprotected (Darkchild Remix) - Speaking of generic, we have "Overprotected," a song off Britney's 2001 album "Britney" and also featured in her 2002 movie "Crossroads." It's pretty basic: she's overprotected, doesn't want people telling her what to do, wants to make mistakes, etc. Not exactly breaking new ground.
27. Sometimes - Did you know that sometimes Britney runs and sometimes Britney hides, but all she really wants is to hold you tight, treat you right, and be with you day and night? Let's be honest: this is not a song for a straight male. And I'm a straight male.
26. I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman - Judging by the title of the song, Britney and I have something in common. Also, like "Sometimes," this is not a song for a straight male. Other than that, it's not horrible.
25. From the Bottom of My Broken Heart - Poor Britney's got a broken heart (not THAT PoorBritney, she's doing just fine). It's a sweet song and all, and if you're young and in love (or just fell out of love) maybe it speaks to you. Just not to me.
24. Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know - The second best ballad Britney ever released. The video completely overshadows the song, as Brit parades around in a bikini top and daisy dukes. As a stand alone, it's still a sweet song.
23. Me Against the Music - Is it sacrilege to put a song featuring Madonna this low? Probably, but it's just not that good. Madonna doesn't add too much to the song, either. To be honest, Justin Timberlake wins the battle of the "exes who did a song with Madonna" when they released "4 Minutes."
22. My Prerogative - When you cover a song you want to do it justice, but you also want to add something to it. Here, Britney did a fine job, but she could never match the Bobby Brown original. Though, to be fair, it fit her perfectly.
21. Piece of Me - This is the song that started Robotney. The song that caused people to claim, "See, I told you she couldn't sing." But guess what: it's not that Britney can't sing (she can), it's that she wasn't afraid to try something new. T-Pain may have made autotune famous, but Britney made it cool.
20. Radar - In all fairness, had this list been made three years ago, "Radar" would have been potentially top 10. However, after hearing it so much (it was on two albums, both "Blackout" and "Circus") it lost its luster. Its replay value just isn't as high as the rest of the songs on the list.
19. Stronger - If I were a girl, no doubt this song would hold more weight for me. Alas, I'm stuck with a penis, and, therefore, while not against the song, not as in love with the song as I could be. It is some good power pop, though.
18. 3 - When it was first released I thought the song was too blah, too similar to other stuff Britney had done. But then my friend Alison (who's no longer my friend, but I'll still give her the credit) reminded me that "3" was for a singles collection, which is not a place one re-invents the wheel. Of course she was right.
17. Criminal - It begins with a flute and sounds like nothing on the radio. It wasn't a hit, but don't be surprised if in a few years other songs with a similar sound do become hits.
16. Oops! . . . I Did it Again - Maybe one of the greatest titles ever. Forget the song, "Oops" clearly was a dig at her critics, as though she was apologizing for having another hit song. Guess what: "Oops" she's had a lot more.
15. Gimme More - One of the greatest opening lines ever. One of the worst performances ever. One of the weirdest videos ever. This song has everything. And more.
14. Do Somethin' - Probably the most underrated song in Britney's catalog. It was released as the second single off a greatest hits record at a time when Britney just wanted to be married and take a break. It included a nice dig at other popstars with the line "Somebody pass my guitar, so I can look like a star." Britney sees the fakers.
13. Lucky - A song that became autobiographical. Nowadays it would have no chance at being a hit, but back then a cheesy pop song like "Lucky" fit right in.
12. Hold it Against Me - Cheesy? Yes. Cliched? Yes. Amazing? Double yes. Britney took dubstep mainstream while simultaneously reminding everyone of the song "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight." How? For Britney, things seem to come easy.
11. If You Seek Amy - Sure, the song could have been written by a 13-year old. And maybe Max Martin is that age at heart. But, regardless, it's a great song and possibly the only time ever where the word seek is censored.
10. Break the Ice - The beat is amazing. The only people who don't jump out of their seats when this comes on are those who have no use of their legs. When Britney says "it's been awhile," even though it hasn't, she makes you believe it has.
9. Circus - This is a perfect song. We've stared at Britney for 13 years and treated her as if she's some circus sideshow attraction. She gets it, but wants to remind us that she's not some sideshow, she's the ringleader and she runs the show.
8. I Wanna Go - Raising the roof hasn't been en vogue for years, but damn if Britney didn't try to bring it back. It's tough, nay impossible, to resist throwing your hands up when this song comes on. I dare you to try.
7. Everytime - Only flaw has nothing to do with the song; it's the fact that "Everytime" is two words. Grammatical snafu aside, this is the best Britney ballad ever. Her writing it makes it even better. Plus, she sings with such soft emotion. Hold on while I have a moment.
6. Womanizer - Comeback song? Sure. Instead of singing about sex or a hot guy, Britney sang about them both. However, this hot guy was having too much sex and Britney called him on it. You can't front with Britney.
5. Crazy - It's a classic. This is a club song that needs no remixing (because it was already remixed, see). It's the most fun you can have with your clothes on. About this time we started to realize that maybe this chick isn't just a one-hit wonder.
4. Till the World Ends - If there's one Britney song that can get even the most hardcore rocker, gangsta rapper, or flutist on the dance floor, it's this one. The minute the song starts (original or remix) you immediately start shaking. When it's over, you get withdrawals and have to play it again.
3. Toxic - This is the comeback. During 2001-2002, Britney had a dispute with Clear Channel Communications, which basically own the radio, and so she got very little airplay. Her movie, "Crossroads," was a critical failure, though fared well enough at the box office. Her relationship with Justin Timberlake ended and he proceeded to release "Cry Me a River," basically accusing Britney of cheating on him. She desperately needed a smash. Along came Toxic, and the rest is history.
2. Baby One More Time - One of the greatest pop songs ever recorded. One of the greatest videos of all time. It put Britney on the map. Without it, this countdown wouldn't exist.
1. I'm a Slave 4 U - Simply, the greatest Britney song ever. But more than that, it took her from a nice, little girl who sang nice, little pop songs, to a naughty, filthy woman who sang about getting down and dirty. It kept her relevant. Imagine if she had released another sweet, innocent song, what are the odds she'd be around today? "Slave" was Britney's coming out - her public bar mitzvah or quienceanera.
*Until I wrote it all down, I never realized Britney has released exactly 30 songs. It's symmetry (unless I missed one, which I don't think I did).
30. Outrageous - Not much of a single due to Britney suffering a knee injury whilst shooting the video. Not a great song, either. Written and produced by R. Kelly, "Outrageous" is pretty blase. Not to mention lyrics that probably even Britney didn't get: Trench coat in my underwear (yes, I know, trench coat means condom).
29. Boys (Co-ed Remix) - This was on the Austin Powers: Goldmember soundtrack (and in the movie with Britney making a cameo). Doesn't help. For some reason it's been in every Britney tour since the song was released. I don't know why, since it's pretty generic.
28. Overprotected (Darkchild Remix) - Speaking of generic, we have "Overprotected," a song off Britney's 2001 album "Britney" and also featured in her 2002 movie "Crossroads." It's pretty basic: she's overprotected, doesn't want people telling her what to do, wants to make mistakes, etc. Not exactly breaking new ground.
27. Sometimes - Did you know that sometimes Britney runs and sometimes Britney hides, but all she really wants is to hold you tight, treat you right, and be with you day and night? Let's be honest: this is not a song for a straight male. And I'm a straight male.
26. I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman - Judging by the title of the song, Britney and I have something in common. Also, like "Sometimes," this is not a song for a straight male. Other than that, it's not horrible.
25. From the Bottom of My Broken Heart - Poor Britney's got a broken heart (not THAT PoorBritney, she's doing just fine). It's a sweet song and all, and if you're young and in love (or just fell out of love) maybe it speaks to you. Just not to me.
24. Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know - The second best ballad Britney ever released. The video completely overshadows the song, as Brit parades around in a bikini top and daisy dukes. As a stand alone, it's still a sweet song.
23. Me Against the Music - Is it sacrilege to put a song featuring Madonna this low? Probably, but it's just not that good. Madonna doesn't add too much to the song, either. To be honest, Justin Timberlake wins the battle of the "exes who did a song with Madonna" when they released "4 Minutes."
22. My Prerogative - When you cover a song you want to do it justice, but you also want to add something to it. Here, Britney did a fine job, but she could never match the Bobby Brown original. Though, to be fair, it fit her perfectly.
21. Piece of Me - This is the song that started Robotney. The song that caused people to claim, "See, I told you she couldn't sing." But guess what: it's not that Britney can't sing (she can), it's that she wasn't afraid to try something new. T-Pain may have made autotune famous, but Britney made it cool.
20. Radar - In all fairness, had this list been made three years ago, "Radar" would have been potentially top 10. However, after hearing it so much (it was on two albums, both "Blackout" and "Circus") it lost its luster. Its replay value just isn't as high as the rest of the songs on the list.
19. Stronger - If I were a girl, no doubt this song would hold more weight for me. Alas, I'm stuck with a penis, and, therefore, while not against the song, not as in love with the song as I could be. It is some good power pop, though.
18. 3 - When it was first released I thought the song was too blah, too similar to other stuff Britney had done. But then my friend Alison (who's no longer my friend, but I'll still give her the credit) reminded me that "3" was for a singles collection, which is not a place one re-invents the wheel. Of course she was right.
17. Criminal - It begins with a flute and sounds like nothing on the radio. It wasn't a hit, but don't be surprised if in a few years other songs with a similar sound do become hits.
16. Oops! . . . I Did it Again - Maybe one of the greatest titles ever. Forget the song, "Oops" clearly was a dig at her critics, as though she was apologizing for having another hit song. Guess what: "Oops" she's had a lot more.
15. Gimme More - One of the greatest opening lines ever. One of the worst performances ever. One of the weirdest videos ever. This song has everything. And more.
14. Do Somethin' - Probably the most underrated song in Britney's catalog. It was released as the second single off a greatest hits record at a time when Britney just wanted to be married and take a break. It included a nice dig at other popstars with the line "Somebody pass my guitar, so I can look like a star." Britney sees the fakers.
13. Lucky - A song that became autobiographical. Nowadays it would have no chance at being a hit, but back then a cheesy pop song like "Lucky" fit right in.
12. Hold it Against Me - Cheesy? Yes. Cliched? Yes. Amazing? Double yes. Britney took dubstep mainstream while simultaneously reminding everyone of the song "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight." How? For Britney, things seem to come easy.
11. If You Seek Amy - Sure, the song could have been written by a 13-year old. And maybe Max Martin is that age at heart. But, regardless, it's a great song and possibly the only time ever where the word seek is censored.
10. Break the Ice - The beat is amazing. The only people who don't jump out of their seats when this comes on are those who have no use of their legs. When Britney says "it's been awhile," even though it hasn't, she makes you believe it has.
9. Circus - This is a perfect song. We've stared at Britney for 13 years and treated her as if she's some circus sideshow attraction. She gets it, but wants to remind us that she's not some sideshow, she's the ringleader and she runs the show.
8. I Wanna Go - Raising the roof hasn't been en vogue for years, but damn if Britney didn't try to bring it back. It's tough, nay impossible, to resist throwing your hands up when this song comes on. I dare you to try.
7. Everytime - Only flaw has nothing to do with the song; it's the fact that "Everytime" is two words. Grammatical snafu aside, this is the best Britney ballad ever. Her writing it makes it even better. Plus, she sings with such soft emotion. Hold on while I have a moment.
6. Womanizer - Comeback song? Sure. Instead of singing about sex or a hot guy, Britney sang about them both. However, this hot guy was having too much sex and Britney called him on it. You can't front with Britney.
5. Crazy - It's a classic. This is a club song that needs no remixing (because it was already remixed, see). It's the most fun you can have with your clothes on. About this time we started to realize that maybe this chick isn't just a one-hit wonder.
4. Till the World Ends - If there's one Britney song that can get even the most hardcore rocker, gangsta rapper, or flutist on the dance floor, it's this one. The minute the song starts (original or remix) you immediately start shaking. When it's over, you get withdrawals and have to play it again.
3. Toxic - This is the comeback. During 2001-2002, Britney had a dispute with Clear Channel Communications, which basically own the radio, and so she got very little airplay. Her movie, "Crossroads," was a critical failure, though fared well enough at the box office. Her relationship with Justin Timberlake ended and he proceeded to release "Cry Me a River," basically accusing Britney of cheating on him. She desperately needed a smash. Along came Toxic, and the rest is history.
2. Baby One More Time - One of the greatest pop songs ever recorded. One of the greatest videos of all time. It put Britney on the map. Without it, this countdown wouldn't exist.
1. I'm a Slave 4 U - Simply, the greatest Britney song ever. But more than that, it took her from a nice, little girl who sang nice, little pop songs, to a naughty, filthy woman who sang about getting down and dirty. It kept her relevant. Imagine if she had released another sweet, innocent song, what are the odds she'd be around today? "Slave" was Britney's coming out - her public bar mitzvah or quienceanera.
*Until I wrote it all down, I never realized Britney has released exactly 30 songs. It's symmetry (unless I missed one, which I don't think I did).
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
30 Glorious Years
Somehow we've come to the point where Britney Spears turns 30. Yes, the young ingenue is no longer young (or an ingenue). She's a mature, older woman with 13 years of experience in the music business. She is, dare I say, a veteran.
I can remember, back in the late 90s, when Madonna released a song on the Austin Powers' soundtrack thinking how long Madonna had been around. She has been around as long as I've been alive.
Around that time, a young lady from some small town no one ever heard of in Louisiana showed up. For all intents and purposes, she had one-hit wonder written all over her. Baby One More Time was a catchy pop song back when pop was making its comeback thanks to the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, the Spice Girls, Hanson, etc. Goodbye grunge, adios gangsta rap, see ya later alternative, it was pop's time to shine again.
Of course, as we all know, genres come and go in music in terms of popularity. The Spice Girls disappeared, BSB disappeared for a while, *NSYNC broke up, and pop music seemed destined once again to play second (or third or fourth) fiddle to other genres like R&B and country (not to mention nu-metal). Clearly, Britney's time was just about up.
But a funny thing happened while people were shoveling dirt on her grave: Britney decided to get up. She didn't rise from the dead - this is not a religious thing; however, she didn't allow herself to expire. Could she have quit 10 years ago and been remembered as that girl who sang that awesome song Baby One More Time? Sure. Berlin is still remembered as having sung Take My Breath Away and that was more than 10 years BEFORE Britney even showed up. We don't forget great songs.
Britney wanted more, though. Obviously, she wasn't intent on just being that girl who sang that song. She kept coming at us with infectious hit after infectious hit. She had what Simon Cowell might call the "X Factor" (or the French might call je ne sais quoi). At some point people started to realize Britney was for real.
The shelf life of a pop star isn't long. It's probably as long as that of an NFL running back - four or five years. Some are fortunate to get a hit and some might even get two. Realistically speaking, though, asking for anything more is asking for too much. Sure, some keep making albums, keep touring, keep releasing singles and videos, but they don't top the charts. So, for someone to survive 13 years is quite an impressive feat. Britney started making music at 17. She's now 30.
I don't know what drives Britney to keep churning out song after song. Critics don't particularly love her. Bloggers/gossip hounds/those in the media seem to take more pleasure when she's down than up (see: 2007). At any point over the years she could have packed it in. She's said many times she'd be a teacher if she wasn't a musician. It would have been easy to go that route after one or two hits - fade into obscurity, fall off the map like so many before her have.
I can remember watching TRL and thinking how nice Britney seemed. Today, I still think that. I've read 100s of interviews, many where it seemed as though she had no clue what was going on, and many more where I thought she was hysterical and totally got it. But I think that's how you stay relevant at 30 - you keep people guessing. Michael Jackson once said about Britney that too much of her was out there, that there was no mystery and she wouldn't last. Nowadays, I think he'd have a different opinion were he alive.
When you hit 30 you begin to evaluate your life. Am I where I want to be? Did I do what I wanted to do? In Britney's case, what didn't she do and where hasn't she been. How does she take stock of her life? How does she know if she missed anything?
Amazingly, in the past 13 years, Britney's had time for private moments. She found time for love, children, and more love. She's been held up and pushed down, picked on and praised, loved and hated, worshiped and vilified, and everything in between. That's a lot to pack into a life (and she's only a third of the way toward the end). Just imagine being 30 and accomplishing in such a short time what so many couldn't do in 10,000 years.
30 is a milestone birthday, or so they say. But Britney's reached every milestone imaginable. Sell one million records? Done. Sell 10 million records? Done. Sell a 100 million records, have #1 hits, be on TV, in the magazines, sell-out arenas all over the world, etc? Done, done, done, done, and done. In that regard, what does 30 even mean?
Will she slow done at 30? She didn't slow down at 29. In fact, she worked harder at 29 than she did at 28. Maybe she'll work harder at 30 than at 29. Who knows what she'll do. I'm confident she's not gonna quit, though. I have no proof of this, of course. I just know there's no reason to stop now.
When I turned 30 I couldn't believe I was that old. Now, Britney's turning 30 and I can't believe she's that old. Someday we'll both be 40 and 50 and 60 and, God willing, 70 and 80. And just like now I'll think, how did we get here?
I can remember, back in the late 90s, when Madonna released a song on the Austin Powers' soundtrack thinking how long Madonna had been around. She has been around as long as I've been alive.
Around that time, a young lady from some small town no one ever heard of in Louisiana showed up. For all intents and purposes, she had one-hit wonder written all over her. Baby One More Time was a catchy pop song back when pop was making its comeback thanks to the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, the Spice Girls, Hanson, etc. Goodbye grunge, adios gangsta rap, see ya later alternative, it was pop's time to shine again.
Of course, as we all know, genres come and go in music in terms of popularity. The Spice Girls disappeared, BSB disappeared for a while, *NSYNC broke up, and pop music seemed destined once again to play second (or third or fourth) fiddle to other genres like R&B and country (not to mention nu-metal). Clearly, Britney's time was just about up.
But a funny thing happened while people were shoveling dirt on her grave: Britney decided to get up. She didn't rise from the dead - this is not a religious thing; however, she didn't allow herself to expire. Could she have quit 10 years ago and been remembered as that girl who sang that awesome song Baby One More Time? Sure. Berlin is still remembered as having sung Take My Breath Away and that was more than 10 years BEFORE Britney even showed up. We don't forget great songs.
Britney wanted more, though. Obviously, she wasn't intent on just being that girl who sang that song. She kept coming at us with infectious hit after infectious hit. She had what Simon Cowell might call the "X Factor" (or the French might call je ne sais quoi). At some point people started to realize Britney was for real.
The shelf life of a pop star isn't long. It's probably as long as that of an NFL running back - four or five years. Some are fortunate to get a hit and some might even get two. Realistically speaking, though, asking for anything more is asking for too much. Sure, some keep making albums, keep touring, keep releasing singles and videos, but they don't top the charts. So, for someone to survive 13 years is quite an impressive feat. Britney started making music at 17. She's now 30.
I don't know what drives Britney to keep churning out song after song. Critics don't particularly love her. Bloggers/gossip hounds/those in the media seem to take more pleasure when she's down than up (see: 2007). At any point over the years she could have packed it in. She's said many times she'd be a teacher if she wasn't a musician. It would have been easy to go that route after one or two hits - fade into obscurity, fall off the map like so many before her have.
I can remember watching TRL and thinking how nice Britney seemed. Today, I still think that. I've read 100s of interviews, many where it seemed as though she had no clue what was going on, and many more where I thought she was hysterical and totally got it. But I think that's how you stay relevant at 30 - you keep people guessing. Michael Jackson once said about Britney that too much of her was out there, that there was no mystery and she wouldn't last. Nowadays, I think he'd have a different opinion were he alive.
When you hit 30 you begin to evaluate your life. Am I where I want to be? Did I do what I wanted to do? In Britney's case, what didn't she do and where hasn't she been. How does she take stock of her life? How does she know if she missed anything?
Amazingly, in the past 13 years, Britney's had time for private moments. She found time for love, children, and more love. She's been held up and pushed down, picked on and praised, loved and hated, worshiped and vilified, and everything in between. That's a lot to pack into a life (and she's only a third of the way toward the end). Just imagine being 30 and accomplishing in such a short time what so many couldn't do in 10,000 years.
30 is a milestone birthday, or so they say. But Britney's reached every milestone imaginable. Sell one million records? Done. Sell 10 million records? Done. Sell a 100 million records, have #1 hits, be on TV, in the magazines, sell-out arenas all over the world, etc? Done, done, done, done, and done. In that regard, what does 30 even mean?
Will she slow done at 30? She didn't slow down at 29. In fact, she worked harder at 29 than she did at 28. Maybe she'll work harder at 30 than at 29. Who knows what she'll do. I'm confident she's not gonna quit, though. I have no proof of this, of course. I just know there's no reason to stop now.
When I turned 30 I couldn't believe I was that old. Now, Britney's turning 30 and I can't believe she's that old. Someday we'll both be 40 and 50 and 60 and, God willing, 70 and 80. And just like now I'll think, how did we get here?
Sunday, November 13, 2011
He's Always Been the One
When Britney was married and after her divorce, he was always there. It seems as though it's always been Jason. He's that friend you never really notice because you're always looking at other people. Women, especially, have a tendency to miss what's right in front of their faces.
It seems Jason simply bid his time until Britney was not only available but stable. Clearly, he stayed around even through the bad times and there had to be a reason for that. Sure, he might have been a friend, though as he never really involved himself in Britney's affairs they couldn't have been that close. No, he had to be waiting for the right time to make his move.
Obviously, I don't know what it took for Britney to realize she had everything she wanted right there in front of her, I don't think any man really knows how a woman finally figures it out. It seems they enjoy the chase or being chased. Between her marriage and this current relationship, Britney definitely had a few boyfriends (and potentially a few one nighters), so she seemed to be looking for something.
Do women not want someone who desires them, who's always there, who's trustworthy and stable? Would they rather chase a guy who's either not interested or playing not interested? Britney went after some Jewish model and a paparazzo, two relationships that had no chance from the beginning. All the while, Jason lurked in the background. 99 times out of 100, it seems that's the guy who ultimately gets chosen Why does it take so long?
Let's say it's not the chase. Then what, is it a search for someone better? Maybe it's the excitement of unexplored possibilities. Is Jason exciting or dangerous? That kinda guy never is. Clearly, if a woman is looking for a wild time, she'll have to look elsewhere.
It's amazing how stubborn women are. They just want it all, even if it means wasting years trying to find it.
It seems Jason simply bid his time until Britney was not only available but stable. Clearly, he stayed around even through the bad times and there had to be a reason for that. Sure, he might have been a friend, though as he never really involved himself in Britney's affairs they couldn't have been that close. No, he had to be waiting for the right time to make his move.
Obviously, I don't know what it took for Britney to realize she had everything she wanted right there in front of her, I don't think any man really knows how a woman finally figures it out. It seems they enjoy the chase or being chased. Between her marriage and this current relationship, Britney definitely had a few boyfriends (and potentially a few one nighters), so she seemed to be looking for something.
Do women not want someone who desires them, who's always there, who's trustworthy and stable? Would they rather chase a guy who's either not interested or playing not interested? Britney went after some Jewish model and a paparazzo, two relationships that had no chance from the beginning. All the while, Jason lurked in the background. 99 times out of 100, it seems that's the guy who ultimately gets chosen Why does it take so long?
Let's say it's not the chase. Then what, is it a search for someone better? Maybe it's the excitement of unexplored possibilities. Is Jason exciting or dangerous? That kinda guy never is. Clearly, if a woman is looking for a wild time, she'll have to look elsewhere.
It's amazing how stubborn women are. They just want it all, even if it means wasting years trying to find it.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Weeping
He sat down to cry and say goodbye,
but the tears they never came;
she held her head in their bed
weeping, weeping away.
She stole his tears, he took her fears
goodnight, goodnight sweetness;
she laughed and cried, he cut his eyes
goodnight, God love your kiss.
She slowed and slowed, knowed and knowed,
the time for tears was done;
as he crawled away, another day
to wage a war again.
She spoke in red while in their bed
and he threw the sheets away;
then picked her up, then up and up
to dance until the dawn.
She felt heavy, he wasn't ready
to say goodbye quite yet;
through her tears and faded years
he wept on and on and on.
Finally! water came, he felt no longer lame,
God gave him back his strength;
to carry heart, to really start
to walk the lonely length.
Down the stairs, down to there
down forever, down for good
to bury love and life,
to bury his sweet wife.
but the tears they never came;
she held her head in their bed
weeping, weeping away.
She stole his tears, he took her fears
goodnight, goodnight sweetness;
she laughed and cried, he cut his eyes
goodnight, God love your kiss.
She slowed and slowed, knowed and knowed,
the time for tears was done;
as he crawled away, another day
to wage a war again.
She spoke in red while in their bed
and he threw the sheets away;
then picked her up, then up and up
to dance until the dawn.
She felt heavy, he wasn't ready
to say goodbye quite yet;
through her tears and faded years
he wept on and on and on.
Finally! water came, he felt no longer lame,
God gave him back his strength;
to carry heart, to really start
to walk the lonely length.
Down the stairs, down to there
down forever, down for good
to bury love and life,
to bury his sweet wife.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Hits and Misses (But Mostly Misses)
- I think right about now Kim Kardashian wishes she didn't put her whole life on TV. Tough to ask for privacy when I can turn on E! and see Keeping Up With the Kardashians season 6. Must have been tough for Kim and Kris to stay together until the wedding aired on TV. I could see Kim trying to divorce him while Kris reminded her that they had a contract that prohibited them from divorcing before the wedding special aired. Awkward.
- Though I believe Justin Beiber could probably fuck 60 percent of the female population between the ages of 15-20, I highly doubt he's dumb enough to screw around on Selena Gomez, only one of the 10 most attractive people on the planet. Nothing against this Mariah Yeater person, but I've seen Selena Gomez and she's no Selena Gomez. I'm interested in what happens when the DNA test proves Beiber isn't the father. Does he jump up an down like people on the Maury Povich show do? Does Yeater claim the results were rigged? Will we ever find out who the real father is?
- Jail should be for violent offenders, pedophiles, armed robbers, and the like. So it's somewhat liberating that Lindsay Lohan's jail time (all of it) has been measured in hours and not days or weeks. There's a reason jail is overcrowded, and I'm guessing most of the people behind bars just happen to be black or Hispanic. Could you imagine Lindsay in the shower dropping the soap? Maybe she'd do it on purpose, since we know she's not adversed to women. Seriously, if Lindsay's crime is violating parole by not showing up for community service, not sure she's such a danger to society that she needs to be kept behind bars. Unless you're worried she'll crash your after-party uninvited. Of course, if I were throwing an after-party, Lindsay would be guest #1 on the list.
- Apparently, Avril Lavigne is anti-violence and she just happened to get jumped by 5 people without doing anything at all to deserve it. Not that anyone deserves to get mugged, and I like Avril, but when the cops showed up and she was one of the people who fled, well, victims don't usually flee the police. The only person who didn't run was her boyfriend Brody Jenner. Though, seeing as how he took a bottle to the head, he probably thought he was running when in reality he was just spinning around in a circle. Avril may have gotten her face fucked up, as she put it, but I'm thinking she wasn't the innocent little victim she's portraying herself as.
- Now that we have Twitter and Facebook, what exactly is the role of the publicist? Avril didn't release a statement about the fighting incident, she merely tweeted about it. Seriously, why pay someone to handle your problems when you can just tweet about them? If someone started a nasty rumor that Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore, he could simply take to his Twitter account and speak directly to his millions of Twitter followers. Like he did (though he used cryptic messages and never really said anything; so maybe publicists are still a necessity). Or, if you wanted to promote all your accomplishments, you don't need a publicist to type up some press release - not when you have Twitter and can simply retweet everything your fans say about you (I'm looking at you, Rihanna). Honestly, RTing "We Found Love is #1 in 26 countries" is a lot faster than sending out a press release. Plus, in the press release you can't say "#rihannanavy go hard."
- Maybe people would have jobs if they stopped protesting about how they don't have jobs. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it's tough to get a job when you spend all day holding a sign lamenting the government. It's hard to take your "More jobs, less government" sign seriously when you answer the question of why you don't have a job with "I was busy making this sign." Maybe the Occupy Wall Street protestors think they're getting paid. Maybe someone told them the longer they occupy, the more money they earn, like an IRA account. What is the ultimate goal, anyway? To occupy so long that eventually someone says, "OK, you win, just please go away. We'll give you whatever you want." Kinda like your lazy friend who stays on your couch and won't leave.
- If people celebrate the fact that Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter that shows how fucked up we are. First, we cried because Casey Anthony didn't get life in prison or the death penalty. Now, are we gonna celebrate someone having to spend years in prison? We should be more sad than anything that this whole ordeal took place, not tweeting #DoctorsBetterThanConradMurray. Unfortunately, everything in today's Internet age is a joke, something to poke fun at. Even and especially death. Sadly, celebrating Dr. Murray's guilty verdict won't bring Michael Jackson back. Even if it did, it sure wouldn't make him healthy again.
- Though I believe Justin Beiber could probably fuck 60 percent of the female population between the ages of 15-20, I highly doubt he's dumb enough to screw around on Selena Gomez, only one of the 10 most attractive people on the planet. Nothing against this Mariah Yeater person, but I've seen Selena Gomez and she's no Selena Gomez. I'm interested in what happens when the DNA test proves Beiber isn't the father. Does he jump up an down like people on the Maury Povich show do? Does Yeater claim the results were rigged? Will we ever find out who the real father is?
- Jail should be for violent offenders, pedophiles, armed robbers, and the like. So it's somewhat liberating that Lindsay Lohan's jail time (all of it) has been measured in hours and not days or weeks. There's a reason jail is overcrowded, and I'm guessing most of the people behind bars just happen to be black or Hispanic. Could you imagine Lindsay in the shower dropping the soap? Maybe she'd do it on purpose, since we know she's not adversed to women. Seriously, if Lindsay's crime is violating parole by not showing up for community service, not sure she's such a danger to society that she needs to be kept behind bars. Unless you're worried she'll crash your after-party uninvited. Of course, if I were throwing an after-party, Lindsay would be guest #1 on the list.
- Apparently, Avril Lavigne is anti-violence and she just happened to get jumped by 5 people without doing anything at all to deserve it. Not that anyone deserves to get mugged, and I like Avril, but when the cops showed up and she was one of the people who fled, well, victims don't usually flee the police. The only person who didn't run was her boyfriend Brody Jenner. Though, seeing as how he took a bottle to the head, he probably thought he was running when in reality he was just spinning around in a circle. Avril may have gotten her face fucked up, as she put it, but I'm thinking she wasn't the innocent little victim she's portraying herself as.
- Now that we have Twitter and Facebook, what exactly is the role of the publicist? Avril didn't release a statement about the fighting incident, she merely tweeted about it. Seriously, why pay someone to handle your problems when you can just tweet about them? If someone started a nasty rumor that Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore, he could simply take to his Twitter account and speak directly to his millions of Twitter followers. Like he did (though he used cryptic messages and never really said anything; so maybe publicists are still a necessity). Or, if you wanted to promote all your accomplishments, you don't need a publicist to type up some press release - not when you have Twitter and can simply retweet everything your fans say about you (I'm looking at you, Rihanna). Honestly, RTing "We Found Love is #1 in 26 countries" is a lot faster than sending out a press release. Plus, in the press release you can't say "#rihannanavy go hard."
- Maybe people would have jobs if they stopped protesting about how they don't have jobs. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure it's tough to get a job when you spend all day holding a sign lamenting the government. It's hard to take your "More jobs, less government" sign seriously when you answer the question of why you don't have a job with "I was busy making this sign." Maybe the Occupy Wall Street protestors think they're getting paid. Maybe someone told them the longer they occupy, the more money they earn, like an IRA account. What is the ultimate goal, anyway? To occupy so long that eventually someone says, "OK, you win, just please go away. We'll give you whatever you want." Kinda like your lazy friend who stays on your couch and won't leave.
- If people celebrate the fact that Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter that shows how fucked up we are. First, we cried because Casey Anthony didn't get life in prison or the death penalty. Now, are we gonna celebrate someone having to spend years in prison? We should be more sad than anything that this whole ordeal took place, not tweeting #DoctorsBetterThanConradMurray. Unfortunately, everything in today's Internet age is a joke, something to poke fun at. Even and especially death. Sadly, celebrating Dr. Murray's guilty verdict won't bring Michael Jackson back. Even if it did, it sure wouldn't make him healthy again.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Was it All a Dream?
I sometimes ask myself if that really happened. Not just the umbrella incident but the whole year.
Did she really shave her head? Did she really sleepwalk through an entire VMA performance? Did she really lose custody of her kids? Where did Adnan and Sam come from and where did they go?
To see the person she is now is to wonder how she ever was that other person. I know people change all the time, go from bad to good and vice-versa, but I always wonder if the former really happened or if it was all a dream.
I was reminded of this incident, and other sad incidents in Britney's life, thanks to a post full of sad Britney pictures.
It's weird how time makes it seem like the past never happened. I mean I know I was in high school, just like I know I used to watch Britney on TRL. But it just feels like that never happened.
Did she really shave her head? Did she really sleepwalk through an entire VMA performance? Did she really lose custody of her kids? Where did Adnan and Sam come from and where did they go?
To see the person she is now is to wonder how she ever was that other person. I know people change all the time, go from bad to good and vice-versa, but I always wonder if the former really happened or if it was all a dream.
I was reminded of this incident, and other sad incidents in Britney's life, thanks to a post full of sad Britney pictures.
It's weird how time makes it seem like the past never happened. I mean I know I was in high school, just like I know I used to watch Britney on TRL. But it just feels like that never happened.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Problem with Success is
This week's number one album is Evanescence's "Evanescence" selling 127k units. Their last number one album, "An Open Door," sold 441k units. That's a big drop.
The problem with success is that people expect you to have it all the time. However, when you don't have it often (because you're either hit or miss or because you take time off in between your successes), no one seems to notice if your success drops off. With Evanescence, there's not much discussion about how little they sold this time as compared to last time.
Unfortunately, not all artists get that sort of treatment. For instance, when Britney Spears' 2007 album "Blackout" debuted with just over 200k units sold, people jumped all over her saying she was washed up and her career was over. Then, when "Femme Fatale" debuted this year with even smaller sales than "Blackout," people were quick to bemoan that Britney should retire, that clearly people don't care about her any more.
If it's not clear with Evanescence's album sales that the music business is down, then look at the fact that Adele's "21" is on pace to outsell the next two highest selling albums, Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" and Lil Wayne's "The Carter IV." Instead, with Britney, people look at her past successes and assume every album she releases should sell 500k units the first week.
People (that includes the media and regular folk) can't seem to understand that even Britney is affected by the economy. In 2002, Justin Timberlake's debut solo album "Justified" sold over 400k units in its first week and debuted at #2. Today, he would have crushed the competition with those numbers Clearly, times have changed.
Sure, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift have sold big numbers in the past year. But they're relatively new. "Born This Way" was only Gaga's second full length album and "Speak Now" was Taylor's third. "Femme Fatale" was Britney's seventh full length studio album.
Any dip in sales for Britney is due to the music business being in or near the toilet, as evidenced by the fact that this year she's had two #1s, a #3 and another top 10 hit. Clearly, she's still having success. It's just unfortunate that more people are interested in her declining sales.
The problem with success is that people expect you to have it all the time. However, when you don't have it often (because you're either hit or miss or because you take time off in between your successes), no one seems to notice if your success drops off. With Evanescence, there's not much discussion about how little they sold this time as compared to last time.
Unfortunately, not all artists get that sort of treatment. For instance, when Britney Spears' 2007 album "Blackout" debuted with just over 200k units sold, people jumped all over her saying she was washed up and her career was over. Then, when "Femme Fatale" debuted this year with even smaller sales than "Blackout," people were quick to bemoan that Britney should retire, that clearly people don't care about her any more.
If it's not clear with Evanescence's album sales that the music business is down, then look at the fact that Adele's "21" is on pace to outsell the next two highest selling albums, Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" and Lil Wayne's "The Carter IV." Instead, with Britney, people look at her past successes and assume every album she releases should sell 500k units the first week.
People (that includes the media and regular folk) can't seem to understand that even Britney is affected by the economy. In 2002, Justin Timberlake's debut solo album "Justified" sold over 400k units in its first week and debuted at #2. Today, he would have crushed the competition with those numbers Clearly, times have changed.
Sure, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift have sold big numbers in the past year. But they're relatively new. "Born This Way" was only Gaga's second full length album and "Speak Now" was Taylor's third. "Femme Fatale" was Britney's seventh full length studio album.
Any dip in sales for Britney is due to the music business being in or near the toilet, as evidenced by the fact that this year she's had two #1s, a #3 and another top 10 hit. Clearly, she's still having success. It's just unfortunate that more people are interested in her declining sales.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Internet Rejection
I feel like I'm a pretty open and honest person. If I don't like you I would tell you. I've never blocked someone from AIM, Facebook, Twitter, MSN, or any other program or website (OK, I blocked someone from Twitter for, like, five minutes, then felt bad and unblocked her). And I don't even mind being blocked by other people, as long as I know about it.
There's nothing worse than being blocked by someone who doesn't give you a head's up that they don't wanna talk to you any more. I'm a big boy and can handle it if you don't like me. I just can't take not being told.
Recently, a friend of mine (technically, former friend, I guess) named Alison blocked me on Twitter. Being blocked makes you feel like a complete loser, especially when you don't recall doing anything that offensive. Don't get me wrong, if I'm an asshole you have every right to dismiss me. But I don't recall ever being an asshole to her.
The worst part is being left in the lurch, not knowing what happened. Someone I've known and talked with for three years suddenly wants nothing to do with me.
Of course, this could all be a misunderstanding and she might not even realize she blocked me. That's unlikely, though. Either way, I'm down one friend. Not only that, but all her fashion knowledge, I'll never get that again. And she was nice and pretty and smart and well-spoken and I could go on, except it would be weird to wax poetic about someone who doesn't like me.
Oh well.
There's nothing worse than being blocked by someone who doesn't give you a head's up that they don't wanna talk to you any more. I'm a big boy and can handle it if you don't like me. I just can't take not being told.
Recently, a friend of mine (technically, former friend, I guess) named Alison blocked me on Twitter. Being blocked makes you feel like a complete loser, especially when you don't recall doing anything that offensive. Don't get me wrong, if I'm an asshole you have every right to dismiss me. But I don't recall ever being an asshole to her.
The worst part is being left in the lurch, not knowing what happened. Someone I've known and talked with for three years suddenly wants nothing to do with me.
Of course, this could all be a misunderstanding and she might not even realize she blocked me. That's unlikely, though. Either way, I'm down one friend. Not only that, but all her fashion knowledge, I'll never get that again. And she was nice and pretty and smart and well-spoken and I could go on, except it would be weird to wax poetic about someone who doesn't like me.
Oh well.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Keep Watching Me
It's always good to look forward. Sure, looking back doesn't necessarily hurt, as long as you don't live in the past. Britney Spears always seems to be looking forward.
As fans, we need to do the same. It's wonderful to remember the great performances, moments, videos, songs, etc., but if you stop moving forward you become complacent. There's nothing worse than dwelling on the past and wanting things to be "like they were."
I read all the time about how Britney's not as good as she used to be. Well, who is? Is 35-year old Kobe Bryant as good as 30-year old Kobe Bryant? Of course not. Is 50-year old Madonna as good as 30-year old Madonna? No way.
Sure, Britney's smarter now, more aware, and better prepared to handle everything, but she can't do the same things she could 10 years ago. There's no doubt she gives the same effort - just unfortunate that she can't necessarily keep up with herself.
Britney has set the bar so high by giving so many memorable performances that unless she recaptures those moments people are unsatisfied. It's like just making the playoffs isn't good enough once you've won the Super Bowl or World Series.
People make excuses for Britney, for themselves, so they can comprehend why she isn't as good. They say it's due to having two kids, going through a tough divorce, not caring as much, etc (for the record: Britney has never made any excuses). Here is the truth: she's not always going to win the Super Bowl. The Pittsburgh Steelers are a great team, but they don't win the Super Bowl every year. The Yankees, as great as they are, lose sometimes. It's just a fact of life.
I want people to appreciate Britney for what she's doing now, not be disappointed for what she can't do. Sometimes just making the playoffs constitutes a successful season.
As fans, we need to do the same. It's wonderful to remember the great performances, moments, videos, songs, etc., but if you stop moving forward you become complacent. There's nothing worse than dwelling on the past and wanting things to be "like they were."
I read all the time about how Britney's not as good as she used to be. Well, who is? Is 35-year old Kobe Bryant as good as 30-year old Kobe Bryant? Of course not. Is 50-year old Madonna as good as 30-year old Madonna? No way.
Sure, Britney's smarter now, more aware, and better prepared to handle everything, but she can't do the same things she could 10 years ago. There's no doubt she gives the same effort - just unfortunate that she can't necessarily keep up with herself.
Britney has set the bar so high by giving so many memorable performances that unless she recaptures those moments people are unsatisfied. It's like just making the playoffs isn't good enough once you've won the Super Bowl or World Series.
People make excuses for Britney, for themselves, so they can comprehend why she isn't as good. They say it's due to having two kids, going through a tough divorce, not caring as much, etc (for the record: Britney has never made any excuses). Here is the truth: she's not always going to win the Super Bowl. The Pittsburgh Steelers are a great team, but they don't win the Super Bowl every year. The Yankees, as great as they are, lose sometimes. It's just a fact of life.
I want people to appreciate Britney for what she's doing now, not be disappointed for what she can't do. Sometimes just making the playoffs constitutes a successful season.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Inside Out Remix
If there's one song on Britney Spears' Femme Fatale that deserves a remix, it's Inside Out. And I don't mean a dance remix; rather, a rap remix. If I could rap, I would do this :
Said you're gonna be here in a minute
Sitting in the mirror, getting pretty
Gotta look my best if we gonna break up
Gotta look my best if we gonna break up
I can hear you knocking at the front door
And I know exactly what you came for
Trying to say goodbye but it's hot and heavy
Trying to say goodbye but it's hot and heavy
You...
Touch me and its breaking me down, and me down, and me down, and me down
I'm telling you, let's just give it up and get down, and get down, and get down
So come on,
Won't you give me something to remember?
Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn't last forever
Baby, you know what I want right now
Hit me one more time, it's so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You're the only one who ever drove me crazy
Cause you know me inside out
Inside out
I know that we probably shouldn't do this
Wake up in the morning feeling stupid
Said that we were done but you're all up on me
Said that we were done but you're all up on me
Tell me how we got in this position
Guess I gotta get you out my system
Trying to let you go but it's not that easy
Trying to let you go but it's not that easy
You...
Touch me and its breaking me down, and me down, and me down, and me down
I'm telling you, let's just give it up and get down, and get down, and get down
So come on,
Won't you give me something to remember?
Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn't last forever
Baby, you know what I want right now
Hit me one more time, it's so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You're the only one who ever drove me crazy
Cause you know me inside out
Inside out
Inside out
(remix)
Yeah, I know you inside out
We came here to break up
So how could we make-up
Smearing all up your make-up
When we made out
Telling me to get out
Said you can't do this
Lookin like you wanna do this
But I'm a gentleman
Leave if you want to
You pull me back in
Say baby please don't go
I was never gonna leave
Cause you got the magic touch
Feelin some kind of rush
When I hear you say (say, say, say):
So come on,
Won't you give me something to remember?
Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn't last forever
Baby, you know what I want right now
Hit me one more time, it's so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You're the only one who ever drove me crazy
Cause you know me inside out
Said you're gonna be here in a minute
Sitting in the mirror, getting pretty
Gotta look my best if we gonna break up
Gotta look my best if we gonna break up
I can hear you knocking at the front door
And I know exactly what you came for
Trying to say goodbye but it's hot and heavy
Trying to say goodbye but it's hot and heavy
You...
Touch me and its breaking me down, and me down, and me down, and me down
I'm telling you, let's just give it up and get down, and get down, and get down
So come on,
Won't you give me something to remember?
Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn't last forever
Baby, you know what I want right now
Hit me one more time, it's so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You're the only one who ever drove me crazy
Cause you know me inside out
Inside out
I know that we probably shouldn't do this
Wake up in the morning feeling stupid
Said that we were done but you're all up on me
Said that we were done but you're all up on me
Tell me how we got in this position
Guess I gotta get you out my system
Trying to let you go but it's not that easy
Trying to let you go but it's not that easy
You...
Touch me and its breaking me down, and me down, and me down, and me down
I'm telling you, let's just give it up and get down, and get down, and get down
So come on,
Won't you give me something to remember?
Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn't last forever
Baby, you know what I want right now
Hit me one more time, it's so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You're the only one who ever drove me crazy
Cause you know me inside out
Inside out
Inside out
(remix)
Yeah, I know you inside out
We came here to break up
So how could we make-up
Smearing all up your make-up
When we made out
Telling me to get out
Said you can't do this
Lookin like you wanna do this
But I'm a gentleman
Leave if you want to
You pull me back in
Say baby please don't go
I was never gonna leave
Cause you got the magic touch
Feelin some kind of rush
When I hear you say (say, say, say):
So come on,
Won't you give me something to remember?
Baby, shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn't last forever
Baby, you know what I want right now
Hit me one more time, it's so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You're the only one who ever drove me crazy
Cause you know me inside out
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Homeless Guy
He is a poor man, he's dead broke you know
He's is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum
He robs, he steals, he's unreliable
He got tossed aside by his mum, mum, mum, mum
I know you told me not to fall for him
I know you said he's just a jerk named Jim
He is a broke ass with no sense of style
But for him I'd walk a mile
Cause mama I'm in love with a homeless guy
Please don't ask me cause I can't tell you why
Mama please don't frown, I won't let you down
I must be really dumb cause this guy's a bum, a giant bum
He kinda smells, he ain't got no soap
His hair is greasy, oil runs, runs, runs, runs
His clothes don't match, they're unfashionable
He wears Ed hardy, he wears tons, tons, tons, tons
All I feel, can't be real, oh no
Cause he's an asshole with no change to spare
Nor a comb to brush his hair
But mama I'm in love with a homeless guy
He's is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum
He robs, he steals, he's unreliable
He got tossed aside by his mum, mum, mum, mum
I know you told me not to fall for him
I know you said he's just a jerk named Jim
He is a broke ass with no sense of style
But for him I'd walk a mile
Cause mama I'm in love with a homeless guy
Please don't ask me cause I can't tell you why
Mama please don't frown, I won't let you down
I must be really dumb cause this guy's a bum, a giant bum
He kinda smells, he ain't got no soap
His hair is greasy, oil runs, runs, runs, runs
His clothes don't match, they're unfashionable
He wears Ed hardy, he wears tons, tons, tons, tons
All I feel, can't be real, oh no
Cause he's an asshole with no change to spare
Nor a comb to brush his hair
But mama I'm in love with a homeless guy
Please don't ask me cause I can't tell you why
Mama please don't frown, I won't let you down
I must be really dumb cause this guy's a bum, a giant bum
And he's got my name
Tattooed on his back
Must be a quack
It's kinda weird
We just met
And I hear him talk
Trying to win a fight
With himself
Oh my God
He's psycho
But mama I'm in love with a homeless guy
Please don't ask me cause I can't tell you why
Mama please don't frown, I won't let you down
I must be really dumb cause this guy's a bum, a giant bum
But mama I'm in love with a homeless guy
Please don't ask me cause I can't tell you why
Mama please don't frown, I won't let you down
I must be really dumb cause this guy's a bum, a giant bum
Monday, September 12, 2011
Skinny Barbies and Fat Barbies
Watching last week's Raw and Smackdown I can't help but wonder why exactly Kelly Kelly is feuding with Beth Phoenix and Natalya. Sure, on TV and on Twitter, all three ladies have pushed the idea that Beth and Natalya are real women and not skinny barbies. Problem is, other than weight, there's little difference between the three.
Clearly, all three are blond and beautiful. Strangely, both Beth and Natalya, when not wrestling, dress very similar to Kelly (dresses, expensive shoes). The girls even wear bright colored lipstick. I'm not quite sure how they can claim to be so different from Kelly when they're clearly told to be the same.
WWE won't allow their women to be different outside of hair color. That makes feuds like this utterly ridiculous. In fact, you can boil this feud down to Skinny Barbie vs. Fat Barbie. That's basically what Michael Cole said on commentary last Friday when he called Beth and Natalya "full-figured women," which as any man knows is code for fat chicks.
Perhaps if Beth and Natalya weren't instructed to dress and look like Kelly this feud would make sense. Instead, it's three hot chicks fighting over whether it's better to be fat or skinny. Ironically, last time they did this fat vs. skinny feud, the face was the "fat" one (Mickie James). Now, the "fat" chicks are the heels. Either way, it's all about looks with WWE.
It's quite sad.
For the record I don't think Beth, Natalya or Mickie are/were fat. WWE wants you to think so.
Clearly, all three are blond and beautiful. Strangely, both Beth and Natalya, when not wrestling, dress very similar to Kelly (dresses, expensive shoes). The girls even wear bright colored lipstick. I'm not quite sure how they can claim to be so different from Kelly when they're clearly told to be the same.
WWE won't allow their women to be different outside of hair color. That makes feuds like this utterly ridiculous. In fact, you can boil this feud down to Skinny Barbie vs. Fat Barbie. That's basically what Michael Cole said on commentary last Friday when he called Beth and Natalya "full-figured women," which as any man knows is code for fat chicks.
Perhaps if Beth and Natalya weren't instructed to dress and look like Kelly this feud would make sense. Instead, it's three hot chicks fighting over whether it's better to be fat or skinny. Ironically, last time they did this fat vs. skinny feud, the face was the "fat" one (Mickie James). Now, the "fat" chicks are the heels. Either way, it's all about looks with WWE.
It's quite sad.
For the record I don't think Beth, Natalya or Mickie are/were fat. WWE wants you to think so.
Friday, September 2, 2011
What is a Britney Spears Fan?
You may be tempted to think Britney fans are human. They are not. They're robots programmed to function a certain way. And like all robots, there have been flaws along the way. Most models get updated every year, but there are some older models still floating around.
There are roughly 10 or so different types of fan, such as:
Voting Bots
Stan Bots
Arguing Bots
Buying Bots
Promoting Bots
Artistic Bots
Singing Bots
Dancing Bots
Crazy Bots
Obsessive Bots
As I said, each bot receives an upgrade yearly, though flaws pop up now and then. Voting Bots were programmed to vote for Britney in any and all situations, i.e. they'll vote for her video on VH1 and they'll vote for her to win a poll. Voting Bots were also equipped with the ability to make threads in forums asking others to vote as well.
Stan Bots were programmed to defend Britney in every and all situations. If a Gaga fan says something bad about Britney, a Stan Bot will immediately respond with one of a couple programmed phrases: "Godney!" "Your fav could never," "Britney slays your favs," and the reciting of statistics like albums sold. Unfortunately, do to all the energy to run, the Stan Bot breaks down quite frequently and often needs replacing. Newer Stan Bots come equipped with the ignore function allowing them to ignore any and all facts about Britney that don't promote her awesomeness.
Arguing Bots were programmed to start fights with other fans and get under their skin. These bots will routinely and randomly post topics that have nothing to do with anything other than starting a Britney war. They come equipped with such phrases as "Britney > Gaga," "Irrelevantina," and "Britney invented . . ." The major flaw with the Arguing Bot is how they can sometimes, in trying to argue for Britney, use stats that make her look bad. Newer models now have an off switch, though locating it is nearly impossible.
Buying Bots simply exist to buy everything Britney makes, whether it be music, movies, clothes or fragrances. A small defect occurs when the Buying Bot overbuys causing it to crash.
Promoting Bots are similar to Buying Bots, except they encourage other people to do the buying. These bots also promote Britney's appearances and concert dates. A popular feature with these bots is the "Download [insert product here] week" where they will encourage people to download a certain item, like Britney's Blackout, for an entire week. A major flaw that has yet to be corrected is shutting them up. They also tend to get hung up on certain items, asking you to buy something regardless of how old it is (such as Blackout).
Artistic Bots were designed to create blends, backgrounds, wallpapers and graphics. One problem is that these bots don't know what's good and what's bad.
Singing and Dancing Bots were designed to sing and dance. They post videos of themselves singing and dancing, talk about how they love to sing and dance, and encourage others to sing and dance. These bots are routinely upgraded with better singing and dancing skills; however, older bots with poor singing and dancing skills still exist. Beware.
Crazy Bots seem normal. They talk about Britney and love Britney like anyone else. However, Crazy Bots tend to overuse emoticons and exclamation points and words ending in -ney. These bots are programmed with phrases like "Assney," "Blondney," Danceney," "Liveney," and "Sexney."
Obsessive Bots are, quite simply, the worst. They talk only about Britney. They believe everything they hear. They bitch when things don't go the way they want. They own every piece of Britney merchandise available. These bots spout off opinions as fact. Example: "Britney's team is so stupid. Unusual You would have been a huge hit." Obsessive Bots love to tell you how it is. Example: "Free Britney. This conservatorship is bullshit." Avoid Obsessive Bots at all times. They are dangerous. A flaw occurs when you try to reason with the Obsessive Bot, because it will become a combination Stan Bot and Arguing Bot. It will spout phrases that make no sense like "Britney owns your life," "Britney owns your soul," and "jealous hater."
If you encounter a bot, please turn around and walk in the other direction. Don't make any sudden movements or that may cause them to activate.
There are roughly 10 or so different types of fan, such as:
Voting Bots
Stan Bots
Arguing Bots
Buying Bots
Promoting Bots
Artistic Bots
Singing Bots
Dancing Bots
Crazy Bots
Obsessive Bots
As I said, each bot receives an upgrade yearly, though flaws pop up now and then. Voting Bots were programmed to vote for Britney in any and all situations, i.e. they'll vote for her video on VH1 and they'll vote for her to win a poll. Voting Bots were also equipped with the ability to make threads in forums asking others to vote as well.
Stan Bots were programmed to defend Britney in every and all situations. If a Gaga fan says something bad about Britney, a Stan Bot will immediately respond with one of a couple programmed phrases: "Godney!" "Your fav could never," "Britney slays your favs," and the reciting of statistics like albums sold. Unfortunately, do to all the energy to run, the Stan Bot breaks down quite frequently and often needs replacing. Newer Stan Bots come equipped with the ignore function allowing them to ignore any and all facts about Britney that don't promote her awesomeness.
Arguing Bots were programmed to start fights with other fans and get under their skin. These bots will routinely and randomly post topics that have nothing to do with anything other than starting a Britney war. They come equipped with such phrases as "Britney > Gaga," "Irrelevantina," and "Britney invented . . ." The major flaw with the Arguing Bot is how they can sometimes, in trying to argue for Britney, use stats that make her look bad. Newer models now have an off switch, though locating it is nearly impossible.
Buying Bots simply exist to buy everything Britney makes, whether it be music, movies, clothes or fragrances. A small defect occurs when the Buying Bot overbuys causing it to crash.
Promoting Bots are similar to Buying Bots, except they encourage other people to do the buying. These bots also promote Britney's appearances and concert dates. A popular feature with these bots is the "Download [insert product here] week" where they will encourage people to download a certain item, like Britney's Blackout, for an entire week. A major flaw that has yet to be corrected is shutting them up. They also tend to get hung up on certain items, asking you to buy something regardless of how old it is (such as Blackout).
Artistic Bots were designed to create blends, backgrounds, wallpapers and graphics. One problem is that these bots don't know what's good and what's bad.
Singing and Dancing Bots were designed to sing and dance. They post videos of themselves singing and dancing, talk about how they love to sing and dance, and encourage others to sing and dance. These bots are routinely upgraded with better singing and dancing skills; however, older bots with poor singing and dancing skills still exist. Beware.
Crazy Bots seem normal. They talk about Britney and love Britney like anyone else. However, Crazy Bots tend to overuse emoticons and exclamation points and words ending in -ney. These bots are programmed with phrases like "Assney," "Blondney," Danceney," "Liveney," and "Sexney."
Obsessive Bots are, quite simply, the worst. They talk only about Britney. They believe everything they hear. They bitch when things don't go the way they want. They own every piece of Britney merchandise available. These bots spout off opinions as fact. Example: "Britney's team is so stupid. Unusual You would have been a huge hit." Obsessive Bots love to tell you how it is. Example: "Free Britney. This conservatorship is bullshit." Avoid Obsessive Bots at all times. They are dangerous. A flaw occurs when you try to reason with the Obsessive Bot, because it will become a combination Stan Bot and Arguing Bot. It will spout phrases that make no sense like "Britney owns your life," "Britney owns your soul," and "jealous hater."
If you encounter a bot, please turn around and walk in the other direction. Don't make any sudden movements or that may cause them to activate.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Britney's Fame is Bigger Than Your Fame
Britney Spears is so famous that she makes other people famous just by being associated with them. People still talk about Kevin Federline because of Britney. Hell, she's so famous, she made TWO other people famous through a third party. Just by being associated with Kevin, both Shar Jackson and Victoria Prince became famous.
Can you imagine that level of fame? Madonna, Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera are all famous, but they don't make other people famous. That guy Gaga used to date who she wrote "You and I" about, does anyone ever talk about him? Christina's and Madonna's boyfriend, are they ever photographed without Christina or Madonna?
Britney has made the non-famous famous and the non-relevant relevant. Look what she did for Fred Durst. Hell, you could argue her alleged cheating on Justin Timberlake made him a superstar. Without that, there would have been no "Cry Me a River" song or video, which is what broke Justin big (not to mention the fact that he spoke about sleeping with her).
Her level of fame knows no bounds. Paris Hilton is one of the most written about and photographed women in the world. However, do you hear anything about her exes once the relationship is over? Her fame aura weakens the minute you're separated from her. With Britney, her fame is like a disease you can't cure. People still talk about Kevin and they've been divorced for nearly five years.
Think about it this way: with a normal celebrity, say Kim Kardashian, you're famous just by being next to her (in her aura). But the further away you two are, the more your fame weakens until people forget about you. With Britney, on the other hand, her fame attaches to you so that whether you're with her or not, you're still famous.
Maybe the ultimate sign her fame supersedes everything else in the world: the way she lived from 2004-2008 would have ended 99 percent of Hollywood careers (a quickie marriage and annulment, marrying someone no one ever heard of, giving up her career to have children, publicly breaking down, blowing her big comeback at the 2007 VMAs, etc.). But here we are, in 2011, and Britney is still making regular folk famous. Fans will go to her shows and be excited to meet her boyfriend. Literally, they will write, "OMG, I met Jason. It was so exciting." Like they were meeting Justin Bieber.
Some people just have it.
Can you imagine that level of fame? Madonna, Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera are all famous, but they don't make other people famous. That guy Gaga used to date who she wrote "You and I" about, does anyone ever talk about him? Christina's and Madonna's boyfriend, are they ever photographed without Christina or Madonna?
Britney has made the non-famous famous and the non-relevant relevant. Look what she did for Fred Durst. Hell, you could argue her alleged cheating on Justin Timberlake made him a superstar. Without that, there would have been no "Cry Me a River" song or video, which is what broke Justin big (not to mention the fact that he spoke about sleeping with her).
Her level of fame knows no bounds. Paris Hilton is one of the most written about and photographed women in the world. However, do you hear anything about her exes once the relationship is over? Her fame aura weakens the minute you're separated from her. With Britney, her fame is like a disease you can't cure. People still talk about Kevin and they've been divorced for nearly five years.
Think about it this way: with a normal celebrity, say Kim Kardashian, you're famous just by being next to her (in her aura). But the further away you two are, the more your fame weakens until people forget about you. With Britney, on the other hand, her fame attaches to you so that whether you're with her or not, you're still famous.
Maybe the ultimate sign her fame supersedes everything else in the world: the way she lived from 2004-2008 would have ended 99 percent of Hollywood careers (a quickie marriage and annulment, marrying someone no one ever heard of, giving up her career to have children, publicly breaking down, blowing her big comeback at the 2007 VMAs, etc.). But here we are, in 2011, and Britney is still making regular folk famous. Fans will go to her shows and be excited to meet her boyfriend. Literally, they will write, "OMG, I met Jason. It was so exciting." Like they were meeting Justin Bieber.
Some people just have it.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Britney's History at the VMAs
It shouldn't be shocking that Britney Spears is being given a Lifetime Achievement Award by MTV since she's made so many iconic videos. Except that it is. Britney has received a total of four Video Music Awards in her 13-year career. To put that into perspective, Lady Gaga won eight awards . . . just in 2010. In 1987, Peter Gabriel won 10 and in 1996 and 2005, The Smashing Pumpkins and Green Day each won seven, respectively. Three other artists, Madonna, Fatboy Slim and R.E.M. all won six in one night.
For Britney to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award, you'd imagine she'd have made some amazing videos. Not according to MTV. Two videos have won her the four awards, "Piece of Me" in 2008* and "Womanizer" a year later. This year, the year she's being honored, she's up for two awards: Best Pop Video and Best Choreography. Britney's released three videos this year. In essence, MTV is saying Britney is a music video legend, while at the same time saying she's not that great. In fact, MTV even created a special category a couple years ago to give a video an award that never won one. Britney didn't win that, either.
I'm not suggesting Britney should win every award. But I find it odd that MTV is recognizing her on a show where they never recognized her. It would be like the Grammy's honoring someone they never gave a Grammy to.
So, MTV refuses to acknowledge Britney's greatness. However, they have no problems pimping her out when she's set to perform/appear on its show. Any year Britney is set to perform, the majority of the promotion is centered around her (and for good reason, because in 99, her first year as a major artist, the show did an 8.0 rating. Every year after that, the show's audience was either above10 million or right at it. When she stopped showing up in 2005, the ratings dropped precipitously and haven't seen 10 million until last year, though her comeback show in 2008 saw a 1.5 million boost from 2007). Any way you slice it, Britney equals ratings.
Unfortunately, those ratings haven't translated into wins. Britney was 0-16 before finally winning in 2008. She had become the Susan Lucci of the VMAs (even MTV started acknowledging it by asking, "Will this be the year Britney finally wins one?"). It wouldn't be foolish to think on a night where she's being honored she'd have one win locked up. Of course, this is MTV, after all, so it's quite possible Britney may have to sit there and watch other people accept her statutes (people she, like a majority of the viewing public, have never heard of). What's even funnier: her video for "I Wanna Go" just hit #1 on VH1s Top 20 countdown, yet that video has zero nominations.
In MTVs book, Lady Gaga should be receiving her tribute next year and Beyonce should have got one two years ago (to be fair, Beyonce should get one, eventually). It appears this tribute to Britney is MTVs mea culpa, its I'm sorry. Perhaps the company realize they should have given Britney many more moon men, but since time travel has not been invented, this is the next best option.
I guess it'll suffice.
*Sadly, many people feel she was handed three awards for that video because MTV wanted to jump on the comeback wagon. Therefore, you could argue she only earned one award, for "Womanizer" in 2009.
For Britney to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award, you'd imagine she'd have made some amazing videos. Not according to MTV. Two videos have won her the four awards, "Piece of Me" in 2008* and "Womanizer" a year later. This year, the year she's being honored, she's up for two awards: Best Pop Video and Best Choreography. Britney's released three videos this year. In essence, MTV is saying Britney is a music video legend, while at the same time saying she's not that great. In fact, MTV even created a special category a couple years ago to give a video an award that never won one. Britney didn't win that, either.
I'm not suggesting Britney should win every award. But I find it odd that MTV is recognizing her on a show where they never recognized her. It would be like the Grammy's honoring someone they never gave a Grammy to.
So, MTV refuses to acknowledge Britney's greatness. However, they have no problems pimping her out when she's set to perform/appear on its show. Any year Britney is set to perform, the majority of the promotion is centered around her (and for good reason, because in 99, her first year as a major artist, the show did an 8.0 rating. Every year after that, the show's audience was either above10 million or right at it. When she stopped showing up in 2005, the ratings dropped precipitously and haven't seen 10 million until last year, though her comeback show in 2008 saw a 1.5 million boost from 2007). Any way you slice it, Britney equals ratings.
Unfortunately, those ratings haven't translated into wins. Britney was 0-16 before finally winning in 2008. She had become the Susan Lucci of the VMAs (even MTV started acknowledging it by asking, "Will this be the year Britney finally wins one?"). It wouldn't be foolish to think on a night where she's being honored she'd have one win locked up. Of course, this is MTV, after all, so it's quite possible Britney may have to sit there and watch other people accept her statutes (people she, like a majority of the viewing public, have never heard of). What's even funnier: her video for "I Wanna Go" just hit #1 on VH1s Top 20 countdown, yet that video has zero nominations.
In MTVs book, Lady Gaga should be receiving her tribute next year and Beyonce should have got one two years ago (to be fair, Beyonce should get one, eventually). It appears this tribute to Britney is MTVs mea culpa, its I'm sorry. Perhaps the company realize they should have given Britney many more moon men, but since time travel has not been invented, this is the next best option.
I guess it'll suffice.
*Sadly, many people feel she was handed three awards for that video because MTV wanted to jump on the comeback wagon. Therefore, you could argue she only earned one award, for "Womanizer" in 2009.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Big Fat Shrimp (Feat. Tu-Na Fish)
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
Big fat shrimp
The big fat shrimp
I can be the lobster baby
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
I can be the lobster baby
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
I can be the lobster baby
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
I can be the lobster baby
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
You can be the shrimp
Hey
You see me trolling the floor
Hanging out with the plankton
I be avoiding the lure
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
And now
You see me up in the store
I was rocking the ocean
I just can't take it no more
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
It's getting bigger
Bigger, bigger
The shrimp is getting low
The shrimp is getting low
The shrimp is getting low
I-I-I-I-It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
Hey
You eat me out in the night
Put me in the pot
So I can cook alright
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
Yo
Take me off of your tray
I wanna have me a good time
Eat me right away
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Y'all better get ready for the haddock
For the haddock
For the haddock
Y'all better get ready for the haddock
For the haddock
For the haddock
Yo it's the haddock
Come and get some
Of the fish that's rocking your system
When you swallow it cause an addiction
If you're allergic better get a prescription
You know I keep the whole sea trippin
Fishermen sit and wait and listen
For the haddock
For the haddock
For the haddock
For the haddock
For the big big fat fat shrimp
You stuff it all in your face
Allergic and puke all over the place
Right now let's get crazy
Here we go
Here we go
Here we go
Everybody in the place get frantic
This shrimp right here's gigantic
Yo
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
It's getting bigger
The shrimp is getting bigger
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
I can be your lobster baby
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
You can be my shrimp
Thursday, August 11, 2011
This is Not For Britney
Baby, one more time. Rebellion. Intimidated. Toxic. And then we kiss. Now. Now. I'm a slave 4 u. Chaotic. Anticipating.
She's all I need.
She's all I need.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
(Real) Dirty Pop
I read in a newspaper (yes, they still exist) an etiquette column where the writer had less than flattering things to say about today's popular music. In fact, he said he scoured the entire Billboard Hot 100 and could find only two uplifting, positive songs: Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" and Selena Gomez and the Scenes' "Who Says." The rest, he said, were vulgar and filthy. Actually, radio host Laura Ingraham said they were vulgar and filthy. He just agreed.
The writer specifically points out two songs as being most filthy: "Last Friday Night"by Katy Perry (or Katie Perry as he wrote) and "S&M" by Rihanna (and Britney Spears, if you prefer). There's no denying that he's absolutely right: on the surface both of those songs are filthy. Katy sings about dancing on table tops, taking shot, having a menage trois, etc. Rihanna sings about whips and chains, sex in the air and says "it's your turn to hurt me" (well, Britney says that in the remix).
Techincally, yes, they're both filthy, dirty, vulgar songs. And many other songs are, too: in "I Wanna Go" Britney says she's taking her freak out tonight, in "Blow" Ke$ha says "we're pretty and sick,"and in "Party Rock Anthem" LMAO says, well, I'm not sure but I bet it's dirty. However you look at it, pop music is filled with vulgarity. Thing is, it's always been that way.
Go back to the 80s when Madonna talked about being "touched for the very first time" and you'll find vulgarity there, too. Is a song called "Like a Virgin" any better than a song about getting drunk and making out? Not really.
The writer of the article said, "We don't need to know about every urge, intimate act, or private thing the singer does or fantasizes about doing," which is code for "tell us your innermost thoughts, so long as they don't involve sex or drinking." That's a nice sentiment, but the whole world can't be PG (or G) rated (I wonder how the writer would feel if he found out Selena recorded a song written by Britney. Probably horrified)
I'm all for censorship in certain areas; kids don't need to see and hear everything. But being offended or upset because some artists choose to sing about adult themes is ridiculous. Funnily enough, the title of the article is "Role models on the pop charts." Apparently, Katy and Rihanna aren't role models because they sing about sex and drinking. Never mind the fact that both women are very successful, self-made business women. The fact that they drink (maybe not Katy since her husband is a recovering alcoholic) and have sex and sing about it is irrelevant.
Let's also not forget that Rihanna was beaten by her boyfriend and instead of hiding in the shadows has not only continued her career, but openly talked about the incident. That seems like the kind of person to admire: strong-willed, independent, and tough (don't forget also, the picture of her beaten face was plastered all over the Internet).
I'm not suggesting a five-year old should be singing the lyrics to "S&M" or "Last Friday Night." However, vulgarity is everywhere: in movies, TV shows, and magazines. People should be allowed to share their urges and private thoughts.
Then there's the question of what is vulgar. If, for instance, Rihanna had thoughts about pounding Chris Brown into a pancake and decided to record a song about it, would that be considered vulgar even though most anyone would agree she has every right to feel that way? Or, instead, if Rihanna met a great guy and had thoughts about sleeping with him, would it be vulgar to share those thoughts?
We know the answer to the latter is yes; at least, we know Laura Ingraham and the author of the aforementioned article think so. We don't really know about the former. Truthfully, I don't think either is vulgar. We feel what we feel and art allows us to express that. What's the difference between art and vulgarity?
Is a picture of two people engaged in a sexual act more vulgar than the description of that act itself? Who decides that? I would assume the description is more vulgar, because with the picture you can see what you want to see and avoid what you don't. With the description, you hear whatever the describer is telling you whether you want to or not. Of course, I don't know if I'm qualified to make that distinction.
Rihanna, Katy and all the other artists topping the charts may be vulgar. It's their right as artists to express themselves however they choose - sex, drugs AND rock n' roll.
The writer specifically points out two songs as being most filthy: "Last Friday Night"by Katy Perry (or Katie Perry as he wrote) and "S&M" by Rihanna (and Britney Spears, if you prefer). There's no denying that he's absolutely right: on the surface both of those songs are filthy. Katy sings about dancing on table tops, taking shot, having a menage trois, etc. Rihanna sings about whips and chains, sex in the air and says "it's your turn to hurt me" (well, Britney says that in the remix).
Techincally, yes, they're both filthy, dirty, vulgar songs. And many other songs are, too: in "I Wanna Go" Britney says she's taking her freak out tonight, in "Blow" Ke$ha says "we're pretty and sick,"and in "Party Rock Anthem" LMAO says, well, I'm not sure but I bet it's dirty. However you look at it, pop music is filled with vulgarity. Thing is, it's always been that way.
Go back to the 80s when Madonna talked about being "touched for the very first time" and you'll find vulgarity there, too. Is a song called "Like a Virgin" any better than a song about getting drunk and making out? Not really.
The writer of the article said, "We don't need to know about every urge, intimate act, or private thing the singer does or fantasizes about doing," which is code for "tell us your innermost thoughts, so long as they don't involve sex or drinking." That's a nice sentiment, but the whole world can't be PG (or G) rated (I wonder how the writer would feel if he found out Selena recorded a song written by Britney. Probably horrified)
I'm all for censorship in certain areas; kids don't need to see and hear everything. But being offended or upset because some artists choose to sing about adult themes is ridiculous. Funnily enough, the title of the article is "Role models on the pop charts." Apparently, Katy and Rihanna aren't role models because they sing about sex and drinking. Never mind the fact that both women are very successful, self-made business women. The fact that they drink (maybe not Katy since her husband is a recovering alcoholic) and have sex and sing about it is irrelevant.
Let's also not forget that Rihanna was beaten by her boyfriend and instead of hiding in the shadows has not only continued her career, but openly talked about the incident. That seems like the kind of person to admire: strong-willed, independent, and tough (don't forget also, the picture of her beaten face was plastered all over the Internet).
I'm not suggesting a five-year old should be singing the lyrics to "S&M" or "Last Friday Night." However, vulgarity is everywhere: in movies, TV shows, and magazines. People should be allowed to share their urges and private thoughts.
Then there's the question of what is vulgar. If, for instance, Rihanna had thoughts about pounding Chris Brown into a pancake and decided to record a song about it, would that be considered vulgar even though most anyone would agree she has every right to feel that way? Or, instead, if Rihanna met a great guy and had thoughts about sleeping with him, would it be vulgar to share those thoughts?
We know the answer to the latter is yes; at least, we know Laura Ingraham and the author of the aforementioned article think so. We don't really know about the former. Truthfully, I don't think either is vulgar. We feel what we feel and art allows us to express that. What's the difference between art and vulgarity?
Is a picture of two people engaged in a sexual act more vulgar than the description of that act itself? Who decides that? I would assume the description is more vulgar, because with the picture you can see what you want to see and avoid what you don't. With the description, you hear whatever the describer is telling you whether you want to or not. Of course, I don't know if I'm qualified to make that distinction.
Rihanna, Katy and all the other artists topping the charts may be vulgar. It's their right as artists to express themselves however they choose - sex, drugs AND rock n' roll.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Number 27
Ever since Amy Winehouse died, everyone has been falling all over themselves to bring up the supposed "Curse of 27," i.e. singers dying at age 27 like Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin and now Winehouse.
But for me, when the person who sang the most ironic song in history (Rehab) died, it made me think about Britney Spears and how so many people killed her off in 2007 (not at the age of 27, but at the age of 25; her birthday is Dec. 3 1981).
I can remember a story coming out about the AP having written Britney's obituary. They claimed it was standard practice, and maybe it was, but many Britney fans were outraged (though, to be fair, they're generally outraged). Truthfully, she wasn't doing very well. Some tabloid headlines even suggested she was suicidal.
Clearly, the AP had reasons (however flimsy) to believe the singer might not make it to 26. But was it right to eulogize someone who was still alive (even if barely)? I never really felt like she was close to death (or closer than any other person). Her erratic behavior was troubling, her decisions poor, her conduct somewhat appalling, her wardrobe choices baffling, but I don't recall ever thinking, "Britney's going to die."
With Amy Winehouse, her death can't be labeled surprising. She was in and out of rehab (mostly out), on and off drugs and alcohol (mostly on), and just a general mess of a human being. At some point, either she or someone in her camp thought getting a boob job would be a positive development. I'm not sure how a boob job helps someone with a drug problem, but I'm not on the payroll of any famous singers.
There were glimpses where it seemed Amy was recovering; just like there were glimpses where it seemed like Britney was recovering. Both women went to rehab, both worked on their careers, both were seen in public in a relatively sober light, and both assured fans that "everything was fine."
But the public eye can be a cruel mistress, because while showing the girls' progress we also saw their downfalls: Britney wobbled her way through a disastrous VMA performance; Amy slurred her way through a concert overseas. It was clear neither woman was in any great shape and definitely not ready for prime time.
I don't know what Amy's parents did or didn't do to save her life. Maybe they did everything. Maybe they thought she had recovered and would live a long life. Maybe Britney was just lucky. Maybe she was just thisclose to death.
Some people continue to talk about Britney as though she shouldn't be here, as if the Grim Reaper reached out for her and just missed. Critics like to say about her work that it's amazing she's working at all. Many concert reviews have ended thusly: "The fact that Spears is even putting on a show is amazing in itself."
And maybe it is amazing. There are so many people who maybe shouldn't be here right now: Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Bret Michaels, any number of rockers from the 70s and 80s. There is no predicting destiny.
For every soul saved, one is lost. I think the reaper always has a backup plan. He has to make his quota, too. I guess Amy was just one of the next on the list. Unfortunately, she couldn't get out of the way.
But for me, when the person who sang the most ironic song in history (Rehab) died, it made me think about Britney Spears and how so many people killed her off in 2007 (not at the age of 27, but at the age of 25; her birthday is Dec. 3 1981).
I can remember a story coming out about the AP having written Britney's obituary. They claimed it was standard practice, and maybe it was, but many Britney fans were outraged (though, to be fair, they're generally outraged). Truthfully, she wasn't doing very well. Some tabloid headlines even suggested she was suicidal.
Clearly, the AP had reasons (however flimsy) to believe the singer might not make it to 26. But was it right to eulogize someone who was still alive (even if barely)? I never really felt like she was close to death (or closer than any other person). Her erratic behavior was troubling, her decisions poor, her conduct somewhat appalling, her wardrobe choices baffling, but I don't recall ever thinking, "Britney's going to die."
With Amy Winehouse, her death can't be labeled surprising. She was in and out of rehab (mostly out), on and off drugs and alcohol (mostly on), and just a general mess of a human being. At some point, either she or someone in her camp thought getting a boob job would be a positive development. I'm not sure how a boob job helps someone with a drug problem, but I'm not on the payroll of any famous singers.
There were glimpses where it seemed Amy was recovering; just like there were glimpses where it seemed like Britney was recovering. Both women went to rehab, both worked on their careers, both were seen in public in a relatively sober light, and both assured fans that "everything was fine."
But the public eye can be a cruel mistress, because while showing the girls' progress we also saw their downfalls: Britney wobbled her way through a disastrous VMA performance; Amy slurred her way through a concert overseas. It was clear neither woman was in any great shape and definitely not ready for prime time.
I don't know what Amy's parents did or didn't do to save her life. Maybe they did everything. Maybe they thought she had recovered and would live a long life. Maybe Britney was just lucky. Maybe she was just thisclose to death.
Some people continue to talk about Britney as though she shouldn't be here, as if the Grim Reaper reached out for her and just missed. Critics like to say about her work that it's amazing she's working at all. Many concert reviews have ended thusly: "The fact that Spears is even putting on a show is amazing in itself."
And maybe it is amazing. There are so many people who maybe shouldn't be here right now: Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Bret Michaels, any number of rockers from the 70s and 80s. There is no predicting destiny.
For every soul saved, one is lost. I think the reaper always has a backup plan. He has to make his quota, too. I guess Amy was just one of the next on the list. Unfortunately, she couldn't get out of the way.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Take Out Your Freak, People!
Pardon the cliche, but "Oops! . . . She Did It Again."
The "it" refers to making another talked about video. "I Wanna Go" is the perfect summertime video for a nation of people who can't be bothered to think about deep things when we have so much tanning to do.
Clearly, the director, Chris Mars Piliero (who directed the awesome "Blow" video by Ke$ha) knows his Britstory. Anyone who throws up a reference to Crossroads knows his stuff.
The video starts off auspiciously enough with The Queen (not Rolling Stone's queen, mind you) clicking her way toward a podium in her sexiest Louboutins (every girl's go to shoe, apparently). At this point, Britney is inundated with off the wall questions, such as whether or not she's having Brad Pitt's baby (she's not, by the way, it's quintuplets (another nod, by the way, to Britstory, as she's revealed in the past as having a crush on Brad Pitt)), whether she's banned everything from her Femme Fatale tour (she did) and whether or not she hates puppies (a question she dodges, which makes me wonder, "Do you hate puppies, Britney?" Fess up).
Finally, The Queen Bee has had enough, drops a few f-bombs on the media (wouldn't she like to do THAT in real life) and declares she's out. I would be remiss if I didn't point out Britney's half-shirt with a picture of half a head and giant mouse ears, not at all unlike Mickey Mouse's ears (you know, from when she was a mouseketeer). Of course, there's a two percent chance that's also a reference to Deadmau5 a DJ/remixer who got flack from Britney fans a while back and who's symbol is the head with giant Mickey Mouse ears. Probably not, but with so many other references you never know.
Once Britney walks out on the press conference, she's magically made a costume change: gone is the half-shirt and Louboutins to be replaced with a skirt and boots she totally jacked from Avril Lavigne. Seriously, Avril should sue for gimmick infringement.
The minute she hits the street she's besieged by an eager fan looking for an autograph. Never one to disappoint her fans, Britney whips out a pen from between her breasts (magical boobs indeed), signs the eager young man's Femme Fatale CD, then proceeds to grab his ass. Why? She's Britney, bitch! Actually, in this video she's just being inappropriate because she knows "everybody's thinking it when the lights out." Damn straight, Britney.
Another inappropriate moment occurs when she gets the bright idea to flash a cop (and a red-headed kid and his father). Oops, she did it again (last cliche, I swear). The cop seems less than amused, forcing Britney to "spread 'em" so he can pat her down (perv!). Exactly what was he expecting to find (on second thought, she DID pull a marker out of her cleavage)?
Thankfully, our Queen is resourceful and manages to wrap her arms and legs around the officer, thereby weakening his defenses. She even manages to steal his handcuffs after the seduction (as Britney walks away we see the cop buttoning up his uniform; if only Lindsay Lohan were that resourceful she might never have spent time in jail)
Unfortunately, the happy times don't last, as Brit is met by a paparazzi looking for a few good shots. Britney, again being the people pleaser that she is, stops and POSES like she's on a runway. Take note, Heidi Klum. Of course, Britney's not all sugar and spice and everything nice, because she rips the camera out of the guy's hands and smashes it on the sidewalk (again, I have to point out the potential Britstory, as back in 2008 Britney would constantly be seen conversing with the paparazzi all friendly, then yelling at them all angry. If that was a nod to the past bi-polar Britney, well done, sir).
As unluck would have it, Britney finds herself surrounded by camera-wielding paparazzi. What's a girl to do? Jump on the roof of a cab, unleash your microphone, and start swinging, of course. Irony here is that Brit a) hardly ever uses a microphone, preferring the hands-free headset and b) no one uses a microphone with a cord any more.
The pop star proves a warrior, as she takes out each slimeball photog. But before she can celebrate, the paparazzi recover and reveal themselves to be cyborgs sent from the future to destroy the leader of the resistance . . . wait, wrong reference. However, they do reveal themselves to be cyborg photogs sent to destroy Britney (again, I must point out the Britstory, as South Park ran a Britney episode where the townsfolk used their cameras to snap pictures of Britney, thus killing her. Another kudos if the cyborgs were a reference to that).
Before all hope is lost some dude shows up and offers Britney a ride. Apparently, he's from the show Weeds, though all we see him carry is a carton of milk. In the one scene that baffles me, after Britney jumps in his ride (because he looks like a trustworthy fellow), our hero pulls out the milk and begins to pour it on himself. Britney's reaction is . . . arousal? I guess it pays to drink milk around Britney (it DOES do a body good and I can imagine Britney has drunken her fair share).
As they ride off into the sunset (or the green screen) our hero begins to spark (and it has nothing to do with the chemistry between himself and Britney). It turns out he's some kind of cyborg, as well. Uh-oh! Thankfully, we find out it was all a dream (just like when Patrick Duffy died on Dallas).
Perhaps the best part is the very end, when our hero shows up again, in human form, to take Britney away from the inquisitive media, but not before turning toward the camera with glowing eyes while laughter is heard. A total homage to "Thriller." Unfortunately, the laughter didn't come from Vincent Price, so that knocks it down slightly.
All in all, this is a video that is sure to receive some VMA nominations. Personally, I think "Hold it Against Me" is Britney's best video this year, but I would not be upset if "I Wanna Go" won some awards.
The "it" refers to making another talked about video. "I Wanna Go" is the perfect summertime video for a nation of people who can't be bothered to think about deep things when we have so much tanning to do.
Clearly, the director, Chris Mars Piliero (who directed the awesome "Blow" video by Ke$ha) knows his Britstory. Anyone who throws up a reference to Crossroads knows his stuff.
The video starts off auspiciously enough with The Queen (not Rolling Stone's queen, mind you) clicking her way toward a podium in her sexiest Louboutins (every girl's go to shoe, apparently). At this point, Britney is inundated with off the wall questions, such as whether or not she's having Brad Pitt's baby (she's not, by the way, it's quintuplets (another nod, by the way, to Britstory, as she's revealed in the past as having a crush on Brad Pitt)), whether she's banned everything from her Femme Fatale tour (she did) and whether or not she hates puppies (a question she dodges, which makes me wonder, "Do you hate puppies, Britney?" Fess up).
Finally, The Queen Bee has had enough, drops a few f-bombs on the media (wouldn't she like to do THAT in real life) and declares she's out. I would be remiss if I didn't point out Britney's half-shirt with a picture of half a head and giant mouse ears, not at all unlike Mickey Mouse's ears (you know, from when she was a mouseketeer). Of course, there's a two percent chance that's also a reference to Deadmau5 a DJ/remixer who got flack from Britney fans a while back and who's symbol is the head with giant Mickey Mouse ears. Probably not, but with so many other references you never know.
Once Britney walks out on the press conference, she's magically made a costume change: gone is the half-shirt and Louboutins to be replaced with a skirt and boots she totally jacked from Avril Lavigne. Seriously, Avril should sue for gimmick infringement.
The minute she hits the street she's besieged by an eager fan looking for an autograph. Never one to disappoint her fans, Britney whips out a pen from between her breasts (magical boobs indeed), signs the eager young man's Femme Fatale CD, then proceeds to grab his ass. Why? She's Britney, bitch! Actually, in this video she's just being inappropriate because she knows "everybody's thinking it when the lights out." Damn straight, Britney.
Another inappropriate moment occurs when she gets the bright idea to flash a cop (and a red-headed kid and his father). Oops, she did it again (last cliche, I swear). The cop seems less than amused, forcing Britney to "spread 'em" so he can pat her down (perv!). Exactly what was he expecting to find (on second thought, she DID pull a marker out of her cleavage)?
Thankfully, our Queen is resourceful and manages to wrap her arms and legs around the officer, thereby weakening his defenses. She even manages to steal his handcuffs after the seduction (as Britney walks away we see the cop buttoning up his uniform; if only Lindsay Lohan were that resourceful she might never have spent time in jail)
Unfortunately, the happy times don't last, as Brit is met by a paparazzi looking for a few good shots. Britney, again being the people pleaser that she is, stops and POSES like she's on a runway. Take note, Heidi Klum. Of course, Britney's not all sugar and spice and everything nice, because she rips the camera out of the guy's hands and smashes it on the sidewalk (again, I have to point out the potential Britstory, as back in 2008 Britney would constantly be seen conversing with the paparazzi all friendly, then yelling at them all angry. If that was a nod to the past bi-polar Britney, well done, sir).
As unluck would have it, Britney finds herself surrounded by camera-wielding paparazzi. What's a girl to do? Jump on the roof of a cab, unleash your microphone, and start swinging, of course. Irony here is that Brit a) hardly ever uses a microphone, preferring the hands-free headset and b) no one uses a microphone with a cord any more.
The pop star proves a warrior, as she takes out each slimeball photog. But before she can celebrate, the paparazzi recover and reveal themselves to be cyborgs sent from the future to destroy the leader of the resistance . . . wait, wrong reference. However, they do reveal themselves to be cyborg photogs sent to destroy Britney (again, I must point out the Britstory, as South Park ran a Britney episode where the townsfolk used their cameras to snap pictures of Britney, thus killing her. Another kudos if the cyborgs were a reference to that).
Before all hope is lost some dude shows up and offers Britney a ride. Apparently, he's from the show Weeds, though all we see him carry is a carton of milk. In the one scene that baffles me, after Britney jumps in his ride (because he looks like a trustworthy fellow), our hero pulls out the milk and begins to pour it on himself. Britney's reaction is . . . arousal? I guess it pays to drink milk around Britney (it DOES do a body good and I can imagine Britney has drunken her fair share).
As they ride off into the sunset (or the green screen) our hero begins to spark (and it has nothing to do with the chemistry between himself and Britney). It turns out he's some kind of cyborg, as well. Uh-oh! Thankfully, we find out it was all a dream (just like when Patrick Duffy died on Dallas).
Perhaps the best part is the very end, when our hero shows up again, in human form, to take Britney away from the inquisitive media, but not before turning toward the camera with glowing eyes while laughter is heard. A total homage to "Thriller." Unfortunately, the laughter didn't come from Vincent Price, so that knocks it down slightly.
All in all, this is a video that is sure to receive some VMA nominations. Personally, I think "Hold it Against Me" is Britney's best video this year, but I would not be upset if "I Wanna Go" won some awards.
Friday, June 24, 2011
I Wanna Go (To the Grocery Store)
Lately I've been stuck imaging
What I want to eat and what I really need
Time to go out
Buy some apples maybe peaches, too
Grab a pizza cause it's onsale, new
Hold the onions, now
Shame on me
To need some cheese
Oops, I have to sneeze
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the gra-a-apes
They got in this store tonight
Wo-oh-oh
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the gra-a-apes
They got in this store tonight
Today the deli line is all tied up
There's a countdown but my number is not up
Gonna blow out
Time for me to go and grab a drink
I'll open it before I pay for it
In the aisle now
Shame on me
No more turkey, geez
Pass the tissues, please
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the bre-e-ead
They got in this store tonight
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the bre-e-ead
They got in this store tonight
Wo-oh-oh
Shame on me (shame on me)
To steal your cheese (to steal your cheese)
I knocked you on your knees (your knees, your knees, your knees)
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the gra-a-apes
They got in this store tonight
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the fru-u-uit
They got in this store tonight
Wo-oh-oh
What I want to eat and what I really need
Time to go out
Buy some apples maybe peaches, too
Grab a pizza cause it's onsale, new
Hold the onions, now
Shame on me
To need some cheese
Oops, I have to sneeze
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the gra-a-apes
They got in this store tonight
Wo-oh-oh
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the gra-a-apes
They got in this store tonight
Today the deli line is all tied up
There's a countdown but my number is not up
Gonna blow out
Time for me to go and grab a drink
I'll open it before I pay for it
In the aisle now
Shame on me
No more turkey, geez
Pass the tissues, please
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the bre-e-ead
They got in this store tonight
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the bre-e-ead
They got in this store tonight
Wo-oh-oh
Shame on me (shame on me)
To steal your cheese (to steal your cheese)
I knocked you on your knees (your knees, your knees, your knees)
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the gra-a-apes
They got in this store tonight
I-I-I Wanna Go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
To the grocery store tonight
I-I-I- Wanna Buy-uy-uy all the fru-u-uit
They got in this store tonight
Wo-oh-oh
Monday, June 20, 2011
He About to Lose Her
I'm touching hands with someone seriously beautiful
She's got a ring on and I feel she's getting far too close
I'm hearing lies as she tells me that she don't got a man
She strokes my hair and says that she will be my biggest fan
But she's got someone waiting at home
He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
I feel her body getting warmer as I grab her waist
She can tell I'm turned on as she stares me in the face
She must be soaking wet; I can smell her a mile away
When she makes her move I know exactly what to say
But she's got someone waiting at home
Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing
He stares as I touch her hair, he knows I could take it there
Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing
She gotta, she gotta go
He don't know that
She's got a ring on and I feel she's getting far too close
I'm hearing lies as she tells me that she don't got a man
She strokes my hair and says that she will be my biggest fan
But she's got someone waiting at home
He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
I feel her body getting warmer as I grab her waist
She can tell I'm turned on as she stares me in the face
She must be soaking wet; I can smell her a mile away
When she makes her move I know exactly what to say
But she's got someone waiting at home
He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing
He stares as I touch her hair, he knows I could take it there
Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing
She gotta, she gotta go
He don't know that
He says he in love but lately she just don't know
He don't see her or make her feel hot
Banging in the club with all her ladies and he don't know that
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
He about to lose, about to lose, about to lose her
He about to lose her
I'm making love with someone seriously beautiful
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